"You gotta have the mind state like "I'm so great!", can't nobody do it like you do. Miraculous. Phenomenal."
Monday, Aug. 08, 2016 - 10:32 p.m.
Today is 8 + 8 = 16.
I wanted it to be a day of a brand new start but when I woke up this morning, I didn't feel new. I felt like I did yesterday. Nothing new at all. So I lost my motivation.
Maybe 8 + 10 = 16 (no typo). Maybe that day, I'll feel new and make a change.
I talked to my boss this afternoon. I'm in a prickly situation at work - managing a consultant engagement, onboarding 2 employees (1 of which is a story in and of himself) and still doing "the work". I feel like I'm not being put in a position to succeed, and I don't like that. So I went to put the pressure on her to help me understand how to work all of this.
The consultant is the necessary evil that led to me finally getting the staff, so I do put a little respeck on their influence. But at the same time, I've been stuck with them a full year while everyone else is gallivanting around. Now I'm ready to hit the ground running but I'm still stuck with them dragging me down. Ugh.
At least I put it out there to my boss. I can't worry about how she will take it, I just had to lay it on the table. You want me to achieve these tasks and goals while taking 3, 2 and 1 hour meetings all the time. How can I work? How can I train my staff? How can I get all these things done when I'm never given the opportunity to do them?
Chyle, boo.
I spoke with a counterpart at another organization last week. She is excellent at this thing, but, like she said, she's been doing it for a long time. I'm a baby in this thing. But I'm tired though. Trying not to get worn out too soon. But man, this thang is crazy.
Nevertheless, I'm built Ford tough. So I'ma make this work. It's gonna take focus, organization and dedication. I lack all three of these things and have for some time. But I'm going to give it my best shot. I don't have a choice in the matter any longer.