TheForest.Diaryland.Com

"I've been up and I've been down. I've had my feet swept off the ground by somebody who just picked me up and threw me away!"

Sunday, Aug. 14, 2016 - 11:24 p.m.

As always, I am just trying to get more consistent with writing here. So, here I am, once again.

Friday, I went to a live recording of Kim Burrell's newest work. My mom was invited by a Facebook friend of hers. He was so sweet, gave us the full VIP experience. Very gracious. It was a great time.

We were very tired because the night before had been my little cousin, Nia-Bean's summer recital. I went by to see my great-uncle right after work so we could make the recital on time. He was having a minor procedure done when I arrived, so I only got to see him for about 2 minutes before I had to leave.

I didn't want to leave but we've been on the scene regularly with him. He knows that. But when someone is in hospice, it's this feeling - at least for me - that every time can be the last time you see someone. So there's the urgency to see the person every chance that comes. Which can lead to running yourself ragged. But hey, it's kind of a countdown. The time will come when the person is no longer here. Do I want to look back and feel like I didn't give them as much time as I could just because I was "tired"? No.

I will see him whenever I can while he's still here.

So after seeing him, I picked up my mom and we went to the recital. I LOVE seeing my little cousin on that stage. She has such a great time! It's so heartwarming. :-)

But lawd, is it tiring! We didn't leave that thang until 11:30. Mind you, we hadn't had a chance to eat so we were eating after 12am. Then had to get up for work around 6am. Phew!

So yeah, when Friday came, exhausted wasn't even the word. It was way more than just exhausted. But we pressed on. Straight from work, home to change and pee, then right on to the recording. Another late night with a super-late dinner.

When Saturday morning came? Outta there. I didn't want to move! Just wanted to stay in the bed all day. But we had a funeral to attend. My cousin's girlfriend's uncle. That's the thing about when you've entered my family - we are family through it all. Good times, bad times; celebrations and funerals. We are there. Period.

There was the funeral and then the wake. I felt the wake was for our benefit - if we hadn't attended the funeral, I don't think there would have been a wake. But my cuz's girlfriend's family is getting used to how ours operates, it seems. LOL She, herself, was trying to shield her family from us because she felt they were dysfunctional compared to ours. LOL But honey, everybody got they something! Our family is close and tight-knit but we have our issues like everybody else. We just know how to express our love for each other in a great way.

Anywhoo, there was the wake. We left close to 6pm, I believe. Ran a few errands, got home just before 8pm. I immediately fell asleep. All the running from the past few days overtook me and I was out of the count. But I ended up waking up all through the night so I didn't get a restful sleep like I would have hoped.

I've gotta work on setting myself up to get better sleep. I need more hours of sleep and I need better quality sleep. I gotta shut myself down earlier, stop eating earlier, drink more water...

Today, there was a BET event I wanted to attend so I had a few things to do before heading out there. I was running late but I knew I needed to go for my sanity. So I pressed on. Had a great time. It was short and sweet, so I was happy for that. But, of course, by the time I ran a couple errands, got home and ate dinner, it was damn-near 8pm again. LOL And the sleepies caught me again, so I took a short nap. But woke back up at 9pm.

Point is that I didn't get to do anything I would have liked to as far as cleaning or catching up on work or preparing for the week ahead. I look forward to productive Sundays that allow me to do that in the near future. Well, I know that I control my life. So I look forward to next Sunday, when I make those things my priority.

the last - the next

The Trees Today - The Trees I've Seent. - Diaryland.


The Last 5 Trees
"Until the end of time, I'll be there for you. You are my heart and mind. I truly adore you." - Sunday, Oct. 30, 2016
"Don't touch what's there...when it's the feelings I wear..." - Saturday, Oct. 08, 2016
"I will enter his gates with thanksgiving in my heart, I will enter his courts with praise." - Friday, Oct. 07, 2016
"I tried to run it away. Thought then my head'd be feeling clearer...." - Tuesday, Oct. 04, 2016
"Boy, your money and my money? Ain't the same damn kind. I can live your life and my life AT THE SAME DAMN TIME!" - Sunday, Oct. 02, 2016