TheForest.Diaryland.Com

"I will enter his gates with thanksgiving in my heart, I will enter his courts with praise."

Friday, Oct. 07, 2016 - 12:27 a.m.

Today.

October 6, 2016

10 + 6 = 16

My great-uncle passed away this evening.

We had gone to see him this morning, even with the threat of an impending hurricane. While he had not deteriorated any further, he had not progressed.

There are a few things I look for in the dying: waste output, color...hair texture. I've noticed over the years that those who are near death, their hair texture changes. It becomes very soft and straight. His hair was very soft yesterday. I had noticed that his waste output was decreased earlier this week.

His breathing when we saw him this morning was that familiar breathing that the dying do. It's not ragged, it's not really gasping. I don't know exactly how to describe it, but it's a familar sound. A person who has heard it once can recognize it again.

All that to say, he is no longer of this earth. He has moved into his forever home.

And I am totally unaffected. I will miss him but I am post-acceptance. Mentally, I've moved on from his passing. My mind is like, "Ok, what's next?"

The EAP lady at my job would refer to this as being in soldier mode.

As part of processing this, excuse me as I mention that DClark aka NewWorkCrush flirted with me as everyone was preparing to end the work day before the storm. Like, outright, no holds barred. If it wasn't for the ring on his finger, I probably would have reciprocated. If it wasn't for the ring on his finger, that particular flirting episode could have ended with me confronting him like wussup, what we bout to do? But he has a ring on his finger. So I glossed right over it like nothing was said. That's what I've been doing. But he's going to push me right into stopping him in his tracks with that mess. With his tall, dark, super intelligent, charming ass. Damn Sagittarian. Hmph.

I'm distracting myself. And it's working.

I haven't known Life without my Uncle James. He would call us every single day. I even remember when my stepdad died, he called and, even though my mom told him everything was ok, he knew something was not. He knew John had passed away. He was a stand-in for my grandaddy not being alive. He kept up with everything I was doing. Even last weekend, he wanted to be updated on when I got back home to make sure I was safe. He was such a caring man. Loved his family. A provider and strong leader.

God makes no mistakes. And this is the path of Life that we all must take one day.

I'm not devastated, which makes me sad. I feel like I should be. But, like I mentioned already, I've accepted his passing and have already moved on. My brain is handling this the way it is, the way it must.

the last - the next

The Trees Today - The Trees I've Seent. - Diaryland.


The Last 5 Trees
"I ran my credit card bill up. Thought a new dress would make it better..." - Wednesday, Jan. 04, 2017
"Goodbye.... Goodbye-bye.... Goodbye.... Goodbye...." - Monday, Jan. 02, 2017
Reading with Psychic Z.y.a. - Wednesday, Dec. 28, 2016
"Until the end of time, I'll be there for you. You are my heart and mind. I truly adore you." - Sunday, Oct. 30, 2016
"Don't touch what's there...when it's the feelings I wear..." - Saturday, Oct. 08, 2016