"I tried to run it away. Thought then my head'd be feeling clearer...."
Tuesday, Oct. 04, 2016 - 10:26 p.m.
Today was a quiet day.
Work was....work. My staff are two interesting characters. I'm learning them and getting used to their.....presence. It's difficult for me because I am expecting greatness out the gate. But these two? They will take some development. I have to get them to where I need them to be.
Went to visit my great-aunt during my lunch hour. I was feeling stressed because a last-minute request popped up, but I knew that getting out of the office, in spite of the effort to go, would be good for me. Plus, it would cut down on the stops on the way home. So I went to see her. She was doing well.
After work, my mom and I went to visit my great-uncle. He was not doing well. [I just deleted a section of details that I don't want to remember when I read back over this in the future. Sorry, future self.] He told one of his sons yesterday that he is ready to go "home"...
God is the author and finisher of our faith. Everything is in his hands. So we will take each day as they come and accept everything that happens for what it is.
My great-uncle's daughter was at the house, crying and very emotional about the prospect that her father is "declining". This is such a heavy situation.
I feel like my life has been filled with these heavy situations for so much of it, but especially the past....10 years? ESPECIALLY the past 4 years. Jesus. It feels like everytime I look around.... My God. Give grace, Lord. Mercy. Please.
I'm afraid to be happy. Afraid to relax, get comfortable, think about the future. Tomorrow, even. There's so much "in the blink of an eye" going on.
Peace, Lord. Please.