Thursday, Jul. 16, 2009 - 3:18 p.m.

*BIG-ASS-SIGH*

D is going through it with her family �oncest� AGAIN. She complains to me about it all the time and I�m tired of hearing �the same old sad song�! After her reaching out to me via email AGAIN regarding her despair, I composed a response. This was yesterday. As of right now, she hasn�t responded to anything I�ve said. It must be mentioned that I�ve had lunch with the girl both yesterday (after I responded to her email) and today, and she has not said a PEEP about it. I haven�t pressured her for her take on it either.

Honestly, I don�t care. I�m over it and the constant revisions t
o this Tyl.er Per.ry-esqe play of a life that she leads. I�ve said what I had to say because SHE ASKED FOR my opinion. Now, I�m done with it. I won�t have another single comment on anything she�s going through. Within the past year, I�ve learned to simply �mph mph mph� when she tells me YET ANOTHER tale of their craziness. From now on, she won�t even get that. I won�t make a sound when she says the next bad thing they�ve done to her. I�ma let it go in one ear and out the other. As a friend, I can�t keep feeding into her or their madness. If she chooses to deal with it, that�s on her. Not me. I�m supportive but at the same time, I have enough going on in my own life - I can�t carry the burden of hers too.

The past few days have really shown me that some people20just enjoy drama in their lives. I said it before and I�ll say it again � �I AM NOT ABOUT DRAMA. If I want drama, I will sit my ass in front of the television and watch a damn movie.� Keep the drama away from me! I don�t want to hear about it, be involved in it, be asked my opinion about it � NADA.

So just for my records, here is the email I wrote to her. It�s now set in (internet) stone. May the force be with D, �cause I sure as hell can�t be anymore.

You know, I read something this morning that said a real friend will give it to you straight, no chaser. I sometimes hold myself back (even though I know it doesn�t seem like it to you) from saying what I really feel like saying because I know you�re going throu
gh enough. But this has spiraled out of control, so I�m just going to have to say what I got �ta say, so READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! With that being said�

I know everybody expects you to handle it all and bear the responsibility of other people�s decisions, but when it starts to affect you the way that it is, people are just going to have to start being considerate of you for a change. I know it�s hard to feel like your family is against you because you decide to step up and do what�s best for you. But at the end of the day, nobody�s losing their mind the way you are. You spend so much time skating around other people�s feelings that you neglect to attend to your own.�
The result? They�re all satisfied while you�re left hurting.

I�m telling you D, as long as I have known you (!!!!!), you have been caught up in their stuff. That�s (at least) 10 years of your life spent taking care of them, doing for them, rescuing them, and ultimately, getting screwed. All of your attempts at your own stability end up sidetracked because of what they have going on. You�ve raised a child to the point where she called you �mommy�, lost a car, [your sister] has lost a car in your name (ruining the credit you worked to rebuild), missed out on things you wanted to do� Even your school plans have suffered because of what you were trying to do for them. Nobody can deny what you have sacrificed on behalf of your family, no matter how much crap they talk.

Are you really going to keep doing this for the rest of your life D? Are you really going to continue to let people guilt you into cleaning up their mess so that they, in turn, can keep creating messes all over YOUR life? You have to ask yourself these questions. Be honest with yourself. Look into your future and decide if this is how you want your life to be.

From an outside perspective, it just doesn�t make sense for you to work so hard to make a good life for yourself � going to school, getting degrees, maintaining a job, being responsible - just to let a good life slip through your fingertips based on other folks dragging you down. You will never be able to satisfy everybody else. The world will never be satisfied with you. Your goal should be to satisfy yourself and be the best person that YOU can be FOR YOURSELF. Everybody else will have to fall in line where they may�if they may.

10 years D. Just think about that if you don�t think about anything else. 10 years�

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