Friday, Dec. 14, 2007 - 3:19 p.m.

You know what's crazy? I'm so stressed out with the end of the semester and thoughts of getting a big fat "C" in my QMB course that I've been having some crazy dreams.

Last night (or early this morning, I should say), I had a rapid succession of different vignettes. The one that bothered me the most was the one about my great aunt passing away. I was SO BOTHERED by that dream that I woke myself up out of it but then I was sad because I couldn't remember if it was a dream or if it was real. And then I got angry at myself because I was trying to figure out how I would explain to my professor that I didn't finish all of my quizzes because I had a death in the family and how in the world I would make it to my company's holiday party. I was awake but I was so damned confused. Ugh!

I forced myself to close my eyes and get some more sleep 'cause I knew I needed it. I close my eyes and who pops up in my dream? TheBouncer. He was laying on my bed, waking me up and pulling me towards him, begging me to let him eat it. LMAO! I was so mad 'cause 1) I wanted to know how the hell he got in my damn house and 2) I didn't want him to because I hadn't taken a bath yet. I caught myself laughing at that one a few minutes ago. LOL.

But for real, I am SO WORRIED about my QMB class. It wouldn't be so bad if the quizzes were multiple choice, but they're not. They're "all or nothing" scoring. So far, I've been getting a couple of "nothing"s. It's depressing. I think I understand it but then I submit the damn quiz for grading and I've missed all but one. There can be up to 12 choices as an answer and it's the "select all that apply" type thing. BOOO to that professor!

I can't afford to get a "C", 'cause then I'll be on probation. How it's gon' look if I go on probation my first damn semester?! I mean, really!

Granted, in undergrad, I just about bombed out my whole first year (2 semesters) and rebounded my second year, even making it to the Dean's List, but still! I wanna do well now.

I guess I'll just take it as a learning experience. I know what I need to do next time as far as time management and studying and getting my work done ahead of time instead of waiting to the last minute. It always takes a hard swift kick in the butt for me to learn my lesson.

Oh yeah, this is gross, but I also dreamt that I started my heavy-duty spotting again. I guess that and TheBouncer popped up in my dreams because I was thinking about the fact that I really could be preg-a-nant. The "incident" occurred on November 19th. I was scheduled for another Depo shot on November 23rd, which I did get. Is it possible that the Depo wasn't strong in my system on the 19th? I'm thinking so... But I don't know. And, at this point, I won't know until I take a preg-a-nancy test. *sigh*

I just really need to stop having sex period. I've been thinking hard about going the Celibacy route (here I go again) for 2008. I just need to keep these thighs shut tight, right? Right. No, for real. There's just too much drama involved when these here knees separate. So I guess I am gonna shut down operations. I'll wait 'till a good piece o' D is in season before opening up for business again.

But I did look it up and statistics are that 3 in 1,000 women will get preg-a-nant while on Depo. With me and my affinity for side effects? Child please.

I'm sleepy. I'm tired. I'm EXHAUSTED. I can't wait for Sunday. Lord, please carry me through to Sunday. Thank You.

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