"All of a sudden my vision became so clear. Everything I needed was right here before me!"
Thursday, Aug. 09, 2007 - 4:27 p.m.
So I'm getting out of my car this morning. There's a construction man on the corner who's been working on the building across from mine for months. If I see him, it's usually at that corner. I didn't think about the fact that I hadn't seen him on the corner in some weeks, it just never crossed my mind until I saw him this morning.
So yeah, I'm out my car, walking down the sidewalk. I hear, "Hey young lady!" In an effort to be my nice polite self, I replied, "Good morning. How're u?" At this point, we are communicating with each other across a two-lane road.
His reply to my "How're u?" proceeds to be, "I saw you the other day with your all black on. You was doin' it! You looked nice!"
Me: "Uhh, thanks." *shuffles faster to my building*
Today is Thursday, 8/9/07. It took me a minute to remember what "other day" I was wearing all black. Okay, why was that LAST FRIDAY, 8/3/07?!??!?! Suffice it to say, I was extremely uncomfortable after coming to that realization.
I just HATE the thought that I'm unknowingly being watched. Like, ugh! Do some work or something! Stop looking at me!
That's just like yesterday. My mom and I went to pick up some food from P.icad.illy's on the way home from work. We're in the line getting our food and I start to feel like somebody is looking at me. There's a hole in the wall where the cooks can pass the food from the kitchen to the display area. I look up and I don't see anybody looking out of there so I let my thoughts go. I was just being paranoid.
But the further down the line I got, there was another, more conspicuous hole in the wall. I had that feeling that someone was watching me again so I looked up. I ended up locking eyes with one of the damn cooks in the back. He was staring me down like he was trying to read something on my forehead. I must have "Stare At Me" tattooed up there and I just ain't know.
I was so aggravated. This morning, with the construction man, I wasn't so much aggravated as I was unnerved. I mean, sir, that was LAST WEEK. I could see if it was yesterday but it really wasn't. It was, once again, LAST WEEK. Please find something to do with your time! Damn!
LOL! It is very funny to me but at the same time, I mean DAMN! Can I just be f'n invisible!?!?!?
Gosh.
So yesterday, I read my horoscope. I love Ca.eriel. She said:
"Capricorn (Dec. 22�Jan. 19)
Usually you prioritize well, getting the most important stuff out of the way first before you tackle all the little shit that's also on your list. That list, however, has gotten a bit bottom-heavy, with so much nitpicky, annoying little crap that you couldn't possibly give your main tasks the energy and attention they deserve. Turn your priority list upside down, and exercise that famous efficiency, Cap. Get all your supposedly less important duties out of the way first, and work your way up to the most vital tasks on your agenda, so that by the time you get to them, they're the only things you have left to do. Then you can truly devote your entire being to their completion."
About 3 minutes after I read that, I started tackling a couple of the little things I was avoiding while multitasking in starting on one of the big projects at the same time. Damn, it felt good! It almost felt like I was in the beginning stage of emerging from the rut I've been in for the past couple of years. I hope that's what it turns out to be. 'Cause I need like hell to get out of this damn rut!
I'm ready.
I work in an office with teeny-tiny windows at the top of the walls that are only inside the offices of the people whose offices run flush with the wall. I try not to go into their offices too much 'cause they are the head honchos. So, suffice it to say that I don't too much know what the weather is outside at any given moment of the day.
That is why, when I stepped out for lunch circa 12:40pm, I was flabbergasted at the beautiful blue sky and slightly humid but warm wind that was blowing my skirt lightly as I marched to get my lunch. Brought a smile to my face and a little bit of a laugh to my lips. I just didn't know. I just had no clue it was so beautiful outside today.
I miss being able to see the sun and the clouds while I work. Out of the 20-million jobs I've held so far in this life, only when I worked for BPEB (Bipolar Ex-Boss) did I get to see the sun on a regular basis. Half of my day was spent running the streets. The other half was spent in the office, which had huge windows. I even liked to watch the rain fall sometimes. I even liked to look at the night sky those times I worked late. That's abou the only thing I miss from that period in my life.
Last night, while changing the sheets on my bed, I hit my pinky-toe up against the metal leg on my bed and damn-near ripped my poor toe-nail off. It's hurting a little bit now. I wonder if that toenail is just gonna up and fall off...
I enjoyed Common's actual live performance of old hits more than I'm feeling this new cd. And I don't feel bad about downloading. Artists don't really make money off of their cds anyway. They make the bulk of their dough from doing shows. So, like I said, I don't feel bad about downloading and I will continue to download! Hmph!