2006-11-28 - 4:21 p.m.

Men lie.

Women lie too but men LIE.

And expect their LIES to be believed.

Chyle please!

That came outta nowhere but it had to come out so there it is.

Really. I don't know where it came from. LOL. I think I just read something kinda related but not really related that and then Res was singing "Ice King" at the same time...

But anyway.

LOL @ Ush.er talkin' 'bout "All the time I think of you holding onto someone new... Don't make me lose my mind." STALKER!

So yeah, I woke up in the early phases of my sleep last night and turned my body so that I was sleeping in an uncomfortable angle with my head at the foot of the bed. I can't even figure out why I did that. I believe it contributed to me not having a restful sleep, but I can't be sure.

I woke up to my voice telling me to wake up (I made a ringtone that says "wake up girl. Wake up!" I wanted my mother's voice but it was too eery to wake up to her voice like that so I can't use hers.) and I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. I was trying to figure out who was in the room with me. What were they telling me to do? I was all confused. LOL.

Then I realized how I was laying on the bed and understood that that was where all the confusion was coming from. I have to sleep on my stomach with my arms under the pillows and one leg raised else I find myself very disoriented when I wake up.

By the way, I didn't call Tito. And I didn't sign onto the net last night so I didn't get to chat with him either. I'm just gonna avoid bringing up not coming over last night 'till the end of the week. Ghetto but whatever.

But yeah, about not signing onto the net... I was busy... Doing what?... LOL.

I went to the damn gym last nite. Yes I did! I so proud of I-self! I got home from work and I was DEAD TIRED. I had put some clothes in the machine and got something to eat. I wasn't tryin' to go NOWHERE. But I had told myself I was gonna go. So I got myself together, got in my car and rode out. Lawd, I was TIRED. But I've got to do this.

When I was pulling up to the building, I wanted to keep on driving, there were so many cars in the parking lot. I'm talking SO MANY CARS! I couldn't even imagine all those people fitting in the damn gym. But they were all in there, in their respective spaces and phases of workout.

There were more men than women, of course. I surely didn't take a gander at the male populus either. Nope. Not with it. No gym rats - don't want 'em. Plus, I don't wanna be feelin' uncomfortable while I'm sweatin' away like a hog, so I just kept my eyes to myself and my machine.

I wonder how many down low brothas were up in that piece. There was a dude in some real good shape on the treadmill one machine away from mine. As I was mouthing the words to my favorite songs on my lil' mp.3 pla.yer, he was hollering the words to whatever he was listening to. 'Twas not sexy. Made me wish mine would go louder so I couldn't be disturbed by his wailing. And I could just about see him trying to make eye contact with me in the mirror.

Speaking of which, I wish there wasn't a wall of mirrors in front of the machines. I like to find a spot in front of me to focus on while working out but the mirrors make that virtually impossible 'cause if you look in the mirror, you are almost guaranteed to catch somebody's eye looking back at you.

But yeah, I just ignored him and continued doing what I was doing (the Pr.ec.or machine). After a couple of minutes, one of the personal trainers who he is friends with came over to talk to him. A guy. I don't know, they just seemed a lil' too friendly, ya know? I don't know. Just seemed a little off to me. But they were both handsome (from what I could make out without really looking at either of them) and manly. Ya never know.

But yeah, I think I'ma try and go to the gym a little closer to after I get off of work. It was just too much of an interruption in my flow to go in the middle of the evening (7pm). It may even be a little less crowded? That's probably just my naivete speaking. LOL.

I went this morning too. A little later than I would have liked due to the whole disorientation episode. But I still went. Usually, I would've talked myself out of it but I was too glad to go. Everyday is a step in a new direction.

All of this was triggered by me watching Int.ervent.ion on A.&E the other night. They had a follow-up show on two of the drug addicts they featured. Both had relapsed. Made me remember that this food thing is an addiction just like any other addiction except that I can exercise to counteract the effects.

I mean, I need to eat right too but at least I can start somewhere. I don't want to end up, years down the line, still allowing this addiction to run/ruin my life. I'm not happy with my weight and my size so it is HIGH TIME I start working to fix things.

My plan is mornings at the gym Monday thru Saturday, evenings at the gym Monday thru Wednesday, walking at the park near the theatre the Thursdays and Fridays that I'm there and a nice long walk on Sunday afternoons or evenings.

For now, I'm gonna focus on cardio and get into weights later.

What's amazing is that as far as working out on the machines, I'm where I was when I stopped working out earlier this year. I can hang pretty well, whereas I thought I would probably have to start from scratch. It feels real good to take deep breaths and not have my heart pump out of my chest. Real good.

I'm just SO TIRED when I leave. Which I know is because I'm not getting enough rest on a regular basis. I hope to change that. It's just so hard 'cause I only have a few hours between when I get home from work and when I should be going to sleep to fit everything that I need or want to do in. But I'ma have to make it work.

So D called me while I was on my way home to tell me, in a complete panic, that her keys were missing. Keys meaning car keys, house keys and the one and only master key to the entire floor at her job.

Just one question: What the hell is calling ME, of all people, going to do to help your situation? Please tell me.

Absolutely nothing.

LOOK FIRST. THEN call me to console you, if you must. But don't look in two or three places halfheartedly and call me in a panic. I don't need that.

All I could tell the girl was to take her time and look everywhere possible before she got too upset.

30 minutes later, I ain't heard a peep out the child. So I call her. She don' found the keys.

Ridiculous. Not even the fact that she could call and make me nervous but not call to let me know she found the keys but that I had to tell her to take her time and look for them before getting in a panic.

Come on people. It's not rocket science. Nobody tells me what I tell other folk. It's called using ur brain. She always wants directions to places from me, even when I've never been there myself. If I'm trying to find a place, I look up the address! Is that not common sense? Come on!

And as far as the balance she owes me, granted she tried to give me the money last week but due to semantics, that didn't happen. And she told me she wanted to give it to me before it disappeared.

But lo and behold, behold and lo, I didn't get my monies. She tells me yesterday that if she gives it to me, she "won't have anything to live off of" until she gets paid next week. So me, being Boo Boo The Fool, give her an extension to pay me back.

She supposed to be gettin' a refund from TriflingBoy this Friday. I don't get my money this Friday, guess what?

Mmm-hmm. We'll see.

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