2006-07-28 - 1:49 p.m.

2 and a half hours of sleep. I am sitting up in this chair off of 2 and a half hours of sleep. And a pinch of a hangover - which probably wouldn't exist were it not for the tightness of my hairstyle.

1 and a half vodka and pineapples, half a Bahama Mama, half a Hennessy and Bailey's, half a Hennessy and Coke...

That Lex dude is a trip. LOL @ the tandem "It's never too late to go back to school." LOL! "You good? You good? You good?" LOL!!!

And Elton betta stop playing with me. Wit his tall ass. Just dont' make no sense. LOL!

Dudes be playing games, 'bout to get got! 'Bout to find theyself hogtied in the back of the Honda, getting pushed through the bedroom window and properly taken care of.

I told D last night that I know for a fact I can't get with Tito 'cause I'll lay it on him one time and he'll never be the same again. LOL. Nigga'll be walkin' 'round in a daze all day everyday. No work getting done. Have to give that Ac back, sell that house down south, move back in with his momma. LOL.

He's just not ready for me. At all.

Miss E invited me to see a preview of Miami Vi.ce last night. It was a hot mess. I won't say horrible, but I will say it was not a good movie. Nobody left that theatre with a look of enjoyment on their face. The best things about it were the trailer scene and the fact that I recognized everywhere they went in Miami, so I felt that connection with it. Other than that, a mess.

But yeah, Miss E had invited me on her pass. Dee had a pass too and was supposed to bring somebody but didn't. At the last minute, Miss E told me to ask D. I told her to invite Tito.

Miss E texted me to let me know that Tito was coming. I got all excited for no reason. LOL. I had don' threw my hands up and did a little dance as soon as I saw the message. LOL.

I get there, late of course, and he's already inside with Dee. I walked over there and he gave me a kiss on the cheek and a hug. If nothing else, he is so sweet and gentlemanly, which is extremely rare. There were two seats where he and Dee were situated, as well as two seats a little further down in the row behind them. I scurried behind Miss E, who was heading for the two back seats, leaving Dee sitting with Tito. Dee was hott. LOL. She wanted me and Tito to sit together. LOL! I wasn't gonna let that happen.

For one, it just seemed so obvious and contrived. For two, I just didn't want to be up under him like that. Not that the thought gave me a bad feeling. Quite the opposite. I didn't want to sit by him because I didn't want to end up all cuddled up with him, which would have happened if I had sat by him.

My thing is, even if Tito is liking me right now, homeboy just got out of a relationship. And not just any relationship, either. The nigga was engaged. Engaged means going to get married. So in other words, he just got out of a relationship in which he was scheduled to marry the woman. Who wants to be the rebound girl in a situation like that? Certainly not me.

Another thing is do I really like Tito, or am I just letting Miss E and Dee boost my head up at the prospect? I know the answer to that question. I do like Tito. It's true! LOL. And I know that he is feeling me too right now. But he's a crabby Cancer, he's very set in his ways and I just can't imagine him opening up in the way I would need him to.

I need somebody who is comfortable enough with themself and their own feelings to be who they are with no reservations. He is just so concerned with appearance and what people think of him. I am too, to an extent. But he is really, really about that pc business all the time and I just ain't. LOL. I adapt to my surroundings. At work, I'm A****. At home, I'm The Rat/Queen. With my peoples, I'm whatever they decide to call me that day.

I need somebody who knows how to wear the mask but also how and when to take it off, 'cause it needs to be taken off at some point everyday.

LOL @ all the "I needs". I guess I'm more needy than I thought. And that's okay. I need someone who will be able to give me what I need.

My head is KILLING me right now. What I need is some damn water. I'd just much rather drink this hot coffee in this cold office. I'ma hit that water up soon though, 'cause this dehydration ain't no joke.

Alright. Off to O-town.

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