2006-07-26 - 4:53 p.m.

How ironic that my horoscope said that I should travel this week? LOL.

Which reminds me, I need to call Crys and verify everything tonight. I'm good for trying to figure it all out the day of. LOL.

So Damian has a son.

Yes, he does.

The way he told me was so crazy too. I called him back so he called me back last night. He never listened to the message I left and had broken his blackberry so he didn't know who's number it was who was calling. He was just trying to see who was trying to call him. LOL.

The convo went like this:

Me: "Hello?"
Damian: "Hey, what's up?"
Me: "Nothin. I just had the urge to call and see how you were doin'."
Damian: "I'm good. Who's this?"
Me: "Uhhh, A****."
Damian: "Oh hey, wassup Homie?! I broke my blackberry so I don't have nobody's number."
Me: "I did leave a message..."
Damian: "Oh, I ain't check the messages."
Me: "I see."
Damian: "I have a son."
Me: "What?"
Damian: "I have a son. I have a son."

I was on autopilot from that point on.

Not so much at the fact that he has a son. People live life, that's understandable.

What threw me off was the way he said it. That he jumped to tell me that piece of information. I don't want to think that he was saying it as a reminder to himself. I don't want to think that he was saying it to me as if to say, "there's no chance anymore".

Just the way he said it. The feeling I got from it made me uncomfortable. Almost like there wasn't really any joy in letting me know. That's really the feeling I got off of how he said it to me.

It just so happened that when he was calling me, I was getting dressed to go hang with David. Yes I was.

I had been laying down and saying to myself, "You need to just go on over there." So I texted him and he said to come by. We smoked and I watched "Little Man" (which was a mess) while he slept. I was so disappointed. LOL. I'm glad it happened that way though. He was mad he fell asleep too but that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Maybe I'm supposed to be seriously celibate. Maybe. It's been 2 and a half months. 2 months of not worrying about being pregnant.

It feels good. Not as good as some regular D. Good in a very different way. Much more peaceful.

So Tae called and told me that the "party" I was goin' up there to attend is off. Which is fine with me. I wasn't necessarily looking forward to it so I'm not disappointed. I'm just trying to get away. Have me a break.

One of my favorite activities is driving and listening to music. I love it. LOVE IT. LOL. Turn the music up real loud and holler (not sing) along to it. I LOVE IT! LOL. For real. I guess I'm gonna have to tone it down a little bit since Crys is gonna be with me. I'll test the waters though, see how loud she'll let me listen to it.

I may just have to purchase her some earbuds...

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