2006-07-25 - 4:28 p.m.

So I decided to play with D's head last night.

First, I was going on and on about how this other chick we know, Fran (who was also in attendance at the club the night D "attacked" Miss Pooh), "tried to hit on Miss Pooh". I'm positive that Fran is Bi and she knows I know, so she is a lil' more "comfortable" with the way she acts around me. But Fran is very clear on the fact that I don't get down like that so she don't bring that to me.

So yeah. I was laying it on thick about how I just couldn't believe Fran would do something like that to Miss Pooh, Miss Pooh didn't appreciate it, etc., etc. D was quiet for the most part. Uncomfortably quiet, I could tell. A few "hmmphs" here and there, not really having much input in the conversation. I went as far as I could without letting her know that I know, but far enough to let her know Miss Pooh ain't appreciate that kind of "attention".

I hope she's clear on that now. I also hope she's clear on the fact that I will cut up if anybody (mainly her) tries any of that with me. I'm for real about D just about crossing the line with me that night in the club. I won't hold back on her ass if she messes around with me.

Also, I was digging into her about Jorge. See, D brought her boyfriend to Tito's party that night and they didn't stay for the Toot.sies part 'cause nobody could have known we'd end up there. I told her that we went, but that was it.

So last night, I was telling her about Jorge and the dance he gave me and how he said he would "keep me company". She was NOT happy about that. LOL. It wasn't long after that little bit of information that she rushed me off the phone. I guess the fact that I told her I was going up to the O this weekend didn't help matters. LOL.

The thing with D is, she has to have whatever attention I get. If there is a guy talking to me, she will try and wiggle her body all up in the space to get up in their face. I don't really get upset about it 'cause I haven't really come across anybody I like too much.

But, for example, that night at Fat Tues.days with David. I'm sitting there, getting my grind on with him and then leaned in for some kissing. Guess who came out the woodwork? Yep. D.

What made it so bad is that she's known dude for years and never made a move at him. As soon as she knows that I like him, she's trying to be all "oh, he was looking at me and smiling at me", blah, blah, blah.

But she never gets a rise out of me. I just won't give it to her. And I truly believe she's not doing it to get a rise out of me. She's doing it because she's jealous. She has to be able to say she is able to get exactly what I get.

I'm not like that at all. I get what I want. I don't get what somebody else wants 'cause I usually don't want what somebody else gets. Not interested. Sorry. It's just funny to me how people switch up their type when they hear what I like...

Maybe it also has to do with her wanting me to herself. She doesn't want me to get too close to somebody else and have them take me away from her. That's probably more the situation than anything.

I'ma have to break it down to her next time she does it though. It's been getting on my nerves for way too long now, anyway. But now that I know what I know about her, I can't let it go any further.

I remember Jason, when me and him were real flirty-flirty. She tried to get in there and he wasn't having it. LOL. He was like, "umm, no.". LOL! From that point on and to this day, she's like, "for some reason, I don't think he liked me". LOL! I'm sayin' to myself, "really?" LOL.

But anyway.

So yeah, back to the whole Jorge thing. Honey, you got a boyfriend (more on that later). Why are you trying to push up on other dudes, much less other dudes you see making moves on other people?

As soon as she saw Jorge gettin' friendly with me - not even flirty friendly, just friendly - that's when she started tryin' to make a move on homeboy. He wasn't feelin' her though and was not afraid to show it. But she was relentless, to the point where sometimes I wanted to tell her, "girl, you just 'bout embarassing yourself - let it go." She even tried to make it like Tito was all into her. I guess she realized she didn't have anything to back that up, so she gave up. LOL.

But for real, it's just amazing to me the kind of jealousies people have held toward me. I guess it's more amazing who the people were than anything. And I am SO not a cocky person. I don't hold things over other people to make myself look or seem better. With all of the insecurities I have, I would never imagine people wanting what I have or want. And on top of being amazed at that, I'm even more amazed when they admit those jealousies or the jealousies come out as a problem later in the future. But that's the way it is.

As far as David, I don't want to mess with him because I like how we are with each other now. That I can call him up and talk without any negativity towards each other. There's the desire there, but that's it.

Did I mention he was in jail for drug trafficking for a period of time? Used to be a big weed seller. Very known in the streets. I didn't know, even after being around him these past couple of years, until he told me. I don't hold it against him because he's reformed and seriously on the straight and narrow now.

But yeah. I just want to remember why I didn't just jump on him. I don't want to break down and have an experience with him and 1) have it not live up to my expectations or 2) have it live up to my expectations but then not want to be involved with him and he be looking for something serious. I'm just not looking for anything serious and I have the feeling that he is.

I'ma give him a call next week to see what he's about. I hate suspense and the suspense with him has been going on for at least 2 years straight now. LOL. How do you flirt with somebody for 2 years straight? LOL. Don't make no sense.

I'm listening to this live version of "All Falls Down" and my mind just got ripped back to when Kan.ye performed at this poetry lounge I used to go to. It was cool 'cause he did it as a spoken word piece. Nobody knew he was an artist at that point so it was crazy when that piece later came out as a song. Even though I don't care for his attitude too much after that time I had to work with him, I can admit he's a good artist. I enjoy his stuff.

It was just funny that even though we didn't necessarily get along, that when he did the interview in the office, even though he was speaking to Qud.dus, he was staring me in the eye the whole time and I was staring right back. LOL. The good thing I remember about working with Kan.ye was coming in contact with two of the nicest guys I've met in the form of Pla.in Pat and Don C.

Now, the song is "I Can Only Be Me" from School Daze. I love that movie. Might watch part of it tonight if I have time.

Yesterday after I got home, I just washed, dried and folded clothes. Wasn't much time for anything else. Well, I did finally tie up some loose ends paperwork-wise, so I'm happy about that.

I faxed in my application to be a non-degree seeking student at my local public university. I didn't take the GRE in enough time to have my scores delivered before the deadline for fall admission so, instead of just resting on my laurels as I've done since I graduated undergrad in May of 2003, I decided to go ahead and take 2 classes (which I will have to pay for out of pocket since there is no financial aid for non-degree seeking students - thank you for Capital One) to get myself back into the groove. So that's what I'm gonna do, along with studying for and taking the GRE.

Now, I'm looking up my classes to check the times and all of the classes I'm looking at, basically all the prerequisites for the program I'm trying to get into, have an additional fee of $750. Ain't that some bull? Boy, these people really be tryin' to stick you for your paper just so you can get a degree that will help you make more money.

Well, I just got off the phone with one Associate Director who transferred me to another Associate Director for the other department I was inquiring about and then walked over to the lady to meet with her about my question (LOL!). It seems they will be offering face-to-face classes, which they damn well should. What's the benefit of signing up for a local university if all the classes are gonna be online anyway? If that's the case, I might as well register with the Univ.ersity of Pho.enix or whatever.

I feel better because they both informed me that face-to-face classes will most likely be offered, they just haven't been scheduled yet. They better be, or I'ma have to get rowdy up in that piece. I ain't payin' upwards of $750 EXTRA, on top of tuition and other fees, just because they don't have a face-to-face class offered. Moreover, I like to have direct contact with my professors as I ask plenty questions and will not leave something alone until I understand it fully. Those professors are there because my tuition as a student is paying their salary. Therefore, they will answer all of my questions and give me an alternate explanation if I don't understand the one they gave.

What I don't understand is how none of this information is complete, yet students are required to register for their classes in two weeks, which is only two weeks before classes are scheduled to start. Just doesn't seem organized to me but at this point, that U is my only option.

We'll see how it works out. I'm just ready to get back into school. I've been putting it off, putting it off. Now, I'm getting excited about it. I'm actually looking forward to the challenge of doing homework after a long day at work.

Alright, that's about all the rambling I can pull out of myself today. I'ma holla.

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