2004-06-07 - 9:24 p.m.

So I went to breakfast this morning with a man with 4 children.

I don' moved up from a nigga wit three to a nigga wit four.

I'll detail the whole meeting him thang since I ain't got nothin' else to talk about. Matter fact, I'll just go on ahead and detail Saturday night for the hell of it.

So it's Saturday night. There's this all-inclusive (bka "all you can drink") event goin' on. I ain't neva been to one before so I wanna go and see what it's about. I head on out with D.

We get lost on some long dark road 'cause the people were late getting started. It was like a scene out of a movie for real. ONE gas station in a stretch of like 30 miles. LOL. With a Chickee Hut (yes, a Chickee Hut) and 'bout 13 black and white cats...

This nice white man helped us out and in the end, we found out he was a down-ass dude from the city (aka Liberty City). LOL. That was something else.

So we find the event after turning around and I'm hot 'cause I hate being lost and scared (it was REALLY a long dark road). I'm 'bout to cuss out the first person I see, which happens to be a bouncer. LOL.

I'm noticing that he's kinda staring at me but I ain't thinkin' nothin' of it. Me and D were gettin' crazy attention from the whole security crew but still, I wasn't thinkin' nothin' of it and neither was she.

So we get up in de (yes, de) place and partake of the all-inclusive Appleton Rum. I used the bathroom at this park no less than three times in a 2-hour period. This is all the evidence necessary of how messed up I was 'cause 1) I don't use the bathroom in a public place and 2) I don't use the bathroom 3 times in 2 hours. Just doesn't happen. But those drinks were CRAZY!!! CRAZAY!!!! And soooo good. LOL.

So anyway. The whole night, we're being watched/followed by the bouncers. They're checkin' on us to make sure we're alright, tryna have full conversations on top of LOUD music, etc. Still ain't thinkin' nothin' of it.

D is up and dancing and I'm sittin' down, tryna get me a nap. LOL. I feel somebody tap me. I thought it was D but when I opened my eyes, it was the bouncer I was about to cuss out.

We talk. He's cool. He's nice. 4 kids.

Skerrrrrt....

4 kids. Divorced.

Still, he's nice. He's cool. I take his number...AND give him mine. Why I did that? I really don't know. But what's done is done.

He goes back to work. I do my thang then it's time to bounce.

Now, we're on the way home. Having full conversations with dude in the next car who we don't even know. LOL!

I drop off D and call Reggie to keep me awake. I was gonna pick up something from him but that wasn't gon' work out 'cause he was out in the streets and nowhere near home. Just kinda made me nervous that the nigga picked up on a half-ring...LOL.

So I call Jerramy. Yes, I called Jerramy. And? I had an excuse. I was coming down off of a buzz and I needed someone to keep me awake all the way home.

So I called him. Decided to stop by his house and say "hi". Who the hell did I think I was fooling?! Got there at 4:30am, left at 5:30am. That's all I'ma say about that.

Okay. So that was my Saturday. It's in the past, I'ma leave it in the past.

So I spoke to Bouncer on Sunday. Real nice guy. Real nice. But 31.

I don't have an issue with age, but usually dudes do. Since I am the way I am, they forget I'm 23 and then, when I wanna do thangs that a female in her early twenties wants to do, they wanna get upset 'cause they forgot I was 23.

So he knows what I'm in this for and he said he's cool with just being friends. People don't really understand that I am, in most cases, much stronger than my feelings. (Jerramy got a good reminder of that on Saturday night.) They think I'ma get caught up and just act on my heart or whatever.

It doesn't work like that. Especially when a nigga got 4 kids. At least they all from the same person but still. That's 4 children. 4 other people in the situation from jump. Can't work.

What was funny this weekend was that, in the span of 12 hours, I was told by two different dudes that they "gotta have it" and I ain't do nothin' but be who I'm always is. And both of these dudes, I already know they not right for me so it's like, "whatever".

But Bouncer is real cool though. I hope we do remain friends through this. But I gotta make sure he understands not to get his damn hopes up 'cause ain't nothin' gon' work between me and a man with children.

But that situation with Jerramy was just a little too off-the-chain for me. Not that I was scared or feeling anything heavy. Just that I was thinking I'm glad nothin' ever really happened between us 'cause that's an addictive type thang right there. And me and addictions don't get along too well.

Aiight. That's enough foolishness for today.

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