2004-03-12 - 11:16 a.m.

Alright. I am not an Alicia Keys fan. Just ain't. It just ain't in me to be a fan of hers. LOL.

But that "If I Ain't Got You" is on point. For real. I saw the video yesterday. She could make it as an actress with that crying, I tell ya. She had MY eyes tearin' up.

"Some people want it all
But I don't want nothin' at all
If it ain't you, baby
If I ain't got you, baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything is nothing
If I ain't got you"

Had me singin' all loud in the shower. I mean LOUD. LOL. I was killin' my people with the singin' last night. LOL. Probably my neighbor too. LOL!

But I don't know. I was just feelin' the feelin' for no damn reason. Ain't like I got those feelings for anybody. Ain't like I really ever had 'em for anybody before. But I was feelin' them feelings last night. And then I turned on the radio and the DJ was playing "I've Been Loving You Too Long To Stop Now" and "One Last Cry"... It was an emotional 15 minutes but not emotional in a bad way. It was emotional in a good way. I just felt better after that trio of songs. Can't really explain it 'cause I don't quite understand it myself.

It really is a feel good Friday though.

All that mess I was talkin' about yesterday with my stepfather...

I just had to thank God this morning that he goes ahead of his children and smooths the way. God walks ahead of me so many times and turns things around in ways that I could have never imagined, much less expected.

The situation with my stepfather was not the end of the world, it just came on the heels of other tensions lingering in my atmosphere. So to go home yesterday to a peaceful environment devoid of negative energy... It just made me feel better (which probably had something to do with my enjoyment of those songs).

Last night was just a good night overall. I can't pinpoint one thing out of the whole night 'cause the whole night was just good. Period.

We got to the poetry spot late for the first time last night. Couldn't even get into the poetry room for the first half 'cause it was overpacked. So, we just sat downstairs to chill until the second half opened up. It turned out to be better than I expected 'cause hundreds (LOL) of people we knew ended up coming late too so it was like we had our own private club thing going. It was fun. I really enjoyed it.

And then we went to see Sweet Phil again. He asked us to come to his football game tomorrow which is a big thing 'cause he's hidden that for so long and been so secretive about it so I'm looking forward to supporting my boy tomorrow as he tries to do something positive.

I'm happy for my people who are having good things happening for them in their lives. It makes me happy when other people are happy so yeah, I'm happy for my people.

I'm praying for my people who it seems like everything is not working out for though. Gotta pray for them. I heard Creflo say this morning that we can't give up. Everybody is going to have to go through the storm to get to the end and, like he said, everyone who went through something in the Bible, when the end came, they were rewarded. So, I'm praying that my people hold on so that they can see that there really is something wonderful on the other side of their tribulation if they just allow themselves to get there.

Then, I was in the car on the way to work and Betty Wright was tellin' me,

"In order to get something
To be something
To do something
You gotta go through something"
"No Pain, No Gain"

I have a feeling I'm being prepared for something. "Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion." I'm taking in everything I'm hearing. I'm building up my defenses with each word of wisdom.

God is good and I will not forget that.

I can't forget that.

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