2004-02-05 - 8:41 a.m.

I AM TI-HI-HI-HI-HI-HIYUD!

I said, I said, I said, I AM TI-HI-HI-HI-HI-HIYUD!

It's funny that everyone around me knows that, if you want to make me laugh harder, repeat whatever you said that made me laugh in the first place. For example:

"Girl, he thought it was cute."
LOL!! What you said?!
"I said, 'Girl, he thought it was cute.'"
LMAO!!!!

But back to me being tired...

I MEAN DAMN!!! I was HELD HOSTAGE last night at the theatre! Got there at 6:15pm and left after 1:00am. Couldn't even much see when I walked out the door, I was so tired! Thought I was gon' get in a car accident on my 5-minute ride home 'cause I just knew I was gon' fall asleep at the wheel or some mess.

But it's my own fault. I just couldn't leave them hanging like that.

BUT DAMN! I am sooooo tired right now. It ain't a game!

I would've taken the day off from my regular job today but being that I'm working less hours 'cause I have to go see the chiro three days out of the week and I want to take a week's vacation at the beginning of March, taking off days wouldn't be a very good move.

Well, first, two things (always two things!) I'm proud of me for:

1) Pizza! Pizza!

I made a pizza when I got home from work (at my first job - LOL). It was a nice, healthier pizza. I only had two small slices and some peas and carrots. Boom. I was full. I was done.

As the night wore on at the theater, the lighting designer decided he wanted to order pizza for everyone.

*creepy noises - screams, heavy breathing, chains dragging*

A person who is trying to watch their calories does not need to eat unplanned-for-pizza - especially after they have already had pizza that same day. I obsessed over resisting that pizza from the time it was ordered 'til it was done being eaten. I just knew I couldn't go out like no sucka over some pizza. I've been doing too well eating better and within a specific calorie range for me to hop up and kill my calories for the day by consuming an oily slice of Domino's.

So, I held on. I just averted my eyes from the cheesy delight. I even did my best to relegate myself to the office so I wouldn't have to go out in the common area and see people eating one of my favorite foods. And there was "hunger" in my stomach. But it was that mental hunger. It wasn't real hunger.

So, I resisted, and I'm proud of myself about that.

2) The Crunch

This one, it almost topped the pizza. Almost. But I'm more proud about the pizza than this one.

Even though I got home around 1:15am and knew I had to get up for work at 6:20am, I got down on that floor, in the clothes I had worn to the theatre and all, and did the 50 crunches I had left to do.

I'd already done 50 crunches when I got home at 5:00pm and I had already done my 100 squats at work (Yes I did go right in the bathroom and do my squats. Yes, I did.). My goal is 100 crunches, 100 squats, and 100 arm exercises every day.

So yeah, even though I was too tired for words, I still got down on the floor (on the flo') and did my damn crunches. And when I got up off the floor (off the flo'), I picked up that resistance band and did my 100 arm exercises.

And I felt so good about myself after. I really did. Shoulda patted myself on the back but I wasn't thinkin' about anything but my bed at the time.

And once again, I am already seeing results even though I haven't been able to get on the treadmill or do any real aerobic exercise. There used to be two big rolls on my back. One right under my shoulderblade and the other, right above my butt. The one above my butt is gone. Completely. I had worked out a little before a month or so ago and it almost went away altogether but, once I stopped, it started to come back.

But I checked this morning and that baby is GONE! Whooo! I'm so happy! I almost got the sexy back now! LOL.

I still got a lot of work to do though 'cause I want the main roll gone.

But at least I really feel like I'm on my way this time.

Each day, I'm going to come across some tempting food that is CALLING MY DAMN NAME! But I'm going to resist it. Got to. For me.

April said something on America's Next Top Model the other night that has stuck with me. She said, "Yeah, (whatever you're going through) is gonna hurt right now, but the payoff is gonna be the reward." or something like that. That's what helped me resist that pizza last night and those chips the night before that and get down on the floor and do those crunches and hop up and do those arm exercises. It's a struggle now but in the end, I know it will all be worth it.

Because of my job at the theatre, I'm probably gonna be talkin' about men everyday. It don't mean that I'm lonely. It don't mean that I'm looking. It don't really mean nothing. It's just that all I have going on in my life is what goes on at my second job so, that's what I'ma be talkin' about.

Prince - the guy I grew up with in the theatre. HE IS A DAMN FOOL!!! And a teacher at a high school! WHAT an oxymoron. LOL!

The thing about him is he don't take NO stuff. From nobody! LOL!!! He is very polite and respectful 'cause his momma raised him well (I know her.). But please, please, PLEASE, do not come across him the wrong way. He will promptly set a fool aright with the straightest face and the calmest voice, which makes it even more hilarious!

He was telling me about the first day of class (he just started teaching this past year at a majority black school). He said a girl in the class, upon hearing of his rules, said under her breath, "Ah-ah. Somebody might end up getting cussed out."

Prince told her, "Ah-ah, boo. Somebody might end up getting cussed out? No, see, you might end up getting cussed out. Don't do it to yourself, boo. Don't set yourself up for failure."

And he has not had a problem with that girl since.

February is gonna be a fun month. For real.

That dude I talked about yesterday, the drama queen, he came right up in the office again, trying to start conversation. I was really into my work though so, this time, I didn't just ignore him on purpose. I ignored him 'cause I really ain't have time for the nonsense.

There's another guy there at the theatre. I knew I'd seen him before. Turns out, he used to go to the poetry spot I frequent with Miss Pooh and the girls. I hadn't seen him in a while but when I saw him Monday night, I remembered his face.

We said those awkward, "Hey."s that you give to someone you know you've seen before but can't remember where and you don't want to look like a fool by saying "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?" without really being sure so you just don't say nothin'. Yeah, that's how we greeted each other Monday night.

Yesterday, it was confirmed that we had in fact seen each other at that poetry spot so the air was a little more relaxed after that.

And that's all I'll say about him.

One of the other guys, he's really shy but he tries to put it off like he's just the bomb-diggy (yes, I did say "bomb-diggy") just for attention. Stuff like that gets no attention from me. I will walk by you like you're not even standing there even though you're standing right in the doorway I have to go through buddy. No time for the games. Especially when I'm at work.

I have a good time at the theatre. The hours FLY BY. But still, I am TI-HI-HI-HI-HI-HIYUHD when I leave that place.

Tonight is opening night for the production so it's gonna be a lot of running around and this and that. But it's gonna be fun. I'm just gonna be more tired than I was today this time tomorrow...

And honestly, I can't wait to get on the treadmill. I fantasize about it while I'm sitting at my first job. I look at it with longing whenever I get in my room. It's like a crush you can't say nothin' to for me. Yes, it is.

Why? 'Cause it represents hundreds of calories I could be burning if only I had the time to get up on it.

I'll make me a better schedule for next week that will definitely include work on the treadmill.

Aiight. Gotta keep it movin'.

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