"I cannot believe my heart when we're miles apart. Wishing on a lonely star, wondering about you...."
Friday, Nov. 24, 2023 - 11:46 p.m.
Only God is keeping me.
Just tallied my hours for the last month of this development program: 57.
And I feel like I remember every minute of it. At least my body does. I'm...whew....T'IED!
But the finish line is very near. Very near. I'm so ready to see it. Ready to just live simply and quietly. I'm excited to do so, actually.
My aunt is now in hospice. She is stable, which is surprising being that she has not had dialysis for a full week. She looks better than usual, I think that's because she is no longer on so many medications. So her body is getting a break from all those chemicals. But at the same time, her body needs them to function. So... But she's stable, that's all that matters. I think she knows her situation. Almost sure of it.
God is the author and finisher, so His will, will be done in His timing. In the meantime, I will just make an effort to see her as much as possible. I encouraged her sister to get her in a facility on our side of town so she is now 5mins away from me. I'm not sad at all for her because she has been through SO MUCH as far as health challenges. She has fought through so much and as hard as she could. She has really suffered the last couple years. God's will be done.
Can't believe it's almost the end of 2023!! Like November is damn-near over. Less than a week left. I feel like December is already done and it hasn't even started yet. I don't hardly remember this year, so much has happened.
I do too much in a day.
Speaking of, the other night I went to a likka tasting. I'd gotten a mysterious random email invite, RSVP'd and resigned myself to go. Just wanted to do something enjoyable and didn't mind being by myself since my social circle has been grating my nerves a lil bit lately. More on that another time. Anywhoo, went to the location and it was NOICE!!! I thought I was at the wrong event! It was a 5-course whisky dinner pairing event. We were treated like royalty. And I met a friendly lady and her guy friend. She's been sending me links to cool art week events.
I want to get back outside a lil bit but I also just want to hibernate. I love people that can get me into things. That's like one of my favorite things. It's awesome. So I'm glad for that connection. But I also don't want to establish new relationships because I feel like I don't have time or energy for so many of the ones I have now. Lord, help me. I look forward to doing better once everything settles down.
I need to get to bed. I've been relaxing most of the day. It felt good. I just did a lil bit for the program and we saw my aunt earlier. But other than that, chilling. Why is it late night now and I'm not in the bed. And then as I go over tomorrow's schedule, I need to be getting to sleep. So let me go leep.