"And for the times, Lord, I almost went crazy... But I'm still here (oh!) with my life."
Friday, Mar. 31, 2023 - 7:02 a.m.
"For my life, Lord, I thank you
For every victory in you I've seen
And all the moments that I know it was You - yes, Lord - it was you who kept me
So I thank You for, for my life"
Posted the last entry the morning after writing it. Had written it after walking in the door at 11:59pm, taking a shower and dropping in bed but was too exhausted to post.
This morning, I feel better. I am even more tired physically but mentally, I've had an opportunity to get in a little bit better condition. Thank God. I was so upset and felt so sad. I feel better now.
This is my assignment. It is what it is. And that's ok. It's ok.
It's funny because I'm in the waiting room while my mom is in the back getting prepped for her procedure. Meanwhile, I was calling the other hospital to check on my aunt (I keep calling her my late uncle's wife). The lady in the ER there was around when I was taking my great-aunt there. She helped us one night after recognizing my great-aunt, who was a loyal customer to the lady's numbers-writing boyfriend. When I spoke to her, she said, "Gosh, you take care of everybody. God sees what you're doing. Your blessing is on the way." She even asked if I had children ("not even a fur-baby?? Awww."). I told her this is just my assignment and I've accepted that.
It is what it is.
Got my hair done yesterday. In the middle of the freaking day because these new age stylists... Chyle. Anywhoo, I'm just realizing that was self-care that is probably what helped me feel better about things. Maybe I just needed to do something nice for myself.
On another note, I'm bout to cut these locs off just based on pricing alone. Paid $170 yesterday!! That is the highest I have ever and will ever pay. My goodness! No mo'! I am really ready to be done with these thangs if this is the way the cost is gonna go. I mean, I love and enjoy my hair but honey, they can have it! I am ready for my lowboy.
Oh yes, so my mom is having the chemo port removed. I'm chilling like this is going to be easy peasy. I feel my brain refusing to allow anxious thoughts to penetrate. This is a simple procedure, no one seems concerned. She will get through it just fine and recover beautifully, I know.
Life is so interesting. Each and every day, something new. At least in my life. It gets insane at times, it really does. But all the time, God gets me through.
When I was out and about, having wild, unadulterated fun in my 20s (& 30s LOL), I never would have thought the thing I'd look forward to most on a weekend (other than sleep) would be putting together a baker's rack for my kitchen. LOLOL I am sooo excited! Can't wait to put my Nespresso on it. It's going to be some much-needed additional space in my small kitchen. I wanted to put shelves on the wall but this is more practical.