"I don't wanna leave, I just wanna be here by your side."
Sunday, Mar. 26, 2023 - 12:50 a.m.
Heard from foolio Thursday night. It's so weird how things happen. He very sparingly crossed my mind twice during the day. The night before, I'd been reading over very old journal entries that mentioned a former friend's theory that "they always come back". I admired the naivete of that theory and couldn't believe how long I thought it was true when the reality is it's just a knock to see if you're a door that's still open.
I got a knock Thursday night. Shouldn't have responded but at least I didn't encourage anything or anyone. And then deleted the thread and moved on like it never happened.
Didn't wake with any feelings. Didn't think about it or him throughout the day. My pheromones ain't even popping as a result of that knock. It's boring; he's boring, dirty and broke.
And I'm glad. I would've been very upset to have been dragged back into feelings I let go of. Then again, I really didn't have any feelings for him in the first place. Was just disappointed with how everything turned out.
He can knock but the door is certainly closed.
Dropped my mom off yesterday to visit her home for the next few days. She kept trying to extend this last stay. No ma'am. I need some peace and quiet and a break from the caretaking,
even if only for 5 days. I pray she manages herself well. Lord, give her strength and interest in taking care of herself. Please. Amen.