Monday, Dec. 17, 2018 - 11:22 p.m.

My long-time friend, Dr. V, is getting married in Jamaica next year.

I'own wanna go.

But how to tell her?! Been lowkey stressing about it, but don't know how to tell her.

She did a "courthouse wedding" this past August. Even though she'd been dating the guy for 9 years - they've lived together for several, he signed for some of her MED SCHOOL student loans, they bought a huge house together last year - her father would not give his blessing for their union. There was some bad blood early into their relationship (Caribbean parents expect their children to end up with millionaires, apparently) so her father had made an "over my dead body" reference and that was that. I would have went on ahead and married the man on my own after all that, but she's the only daughter her parents have that attempts to respect their wishes - the other two do what they want. But anywhoo. This Spring, after a family meeting, the father gave his blessings. So they went ahead to get married.

I flew up for the "courthouse wedding" that turned into a full outdoor wedding - wedding dress/bouquet/shoes/rings, stretch Hummer limo, photoshootS, family dinnerS, etc. I witnessed a union between two people totally in love and happy. I was there. Saw it with my own eyes. Heard the reverend announce them man and wife. Celebrated their union with them.

Why I gotta fly to Jamaica to do the same thing all over again?!

Truthfully, I don't want to spend the money. It's at an expensive resort in an area that is out of the way. I am seeing that my friend just wants to get this "wedding of her dreams" - it's not about the relationship. She had to fight for this relationship to be accepted, so now she wants to show her family "how it's supposed to be done" (my words, not hers).

Honestly, I've been to more than my share of weddings. I don't feel the need to go to one that I have to pay so much to attend. Oh, I'm a bridesmaid too, so there's that, along with the added expense. Looking at $2k on this wedding *alone* - I've paid that to go to Europe!! I don't want to spend that kind of money on a "show". I'd rather apply it to another international journey.

But how do I tell her?! *sigh*

I feel bad, because I know she wants those close to her there to celebrate with her. However... I just don't wanna do it.

As I grow older, I am getting more and more OVER doing things I don't want to do for the sake of others. The frivolous things, I mean. Like, I was there for the whole heartfelt wedding a couple months ago. I have felt their love and witnessed their union. I'm ready to be off the hook for the big bash next year.

But what's a nice way to say *that*?

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