Monday, Mar. 29, 2010 - 4:51 p.m.

Finished the fast. 21 days. Lawd, it was something else!!

The beginning was EASY, BREEZY, beautiful cover girl! LOL But at the third week, it became extremely difficult. Like on the 20th day, I was about to give in, difficult. I felt like I was going crazy!!! But God brought me through. And then what I was praying for - a better relationship with him - he spoke directly to me in church yesterday, the day after the fast. I mean, he's been speaking to me all along but I FELT HIM SPEAK TO ME YESTERDAY. He did something so amazing to show me that he was there.... It's spooky just to think about it. But I thank him for that sign. I pray that he will continue to speak to me in such ways. I need to know that I know that I know that he's with me at all times.

I get chills just thinking about it. My goodness! Whoo!

I was sooooo looking forward to a cafe con leche and cuban toast this morning but then I remembered that, along with sex, I gave those up for Lent. I'm glad I remembered before today because I would've broken that promise with a quickness! LOL!!

The no sex was easy in the beginning but has become difficult these past few weeks. I guess with no meat and no coffee, my mind wanted something else to compensate. But I've held on. Even with the pulling of DBanks, I've been strong.

Speaking of him, I'm over it. He did something on Saturday that, previously, it would have made me react and made me more engrossed in him. But before I let my behavior respond to what he did, I went over it in my mind and decided not to react or say a word. And the fact that he didn't inquire about my non-reaction let me know that 1) I'm better about understanding our situation and 2) I can't make him care anymore than he does or doesn't. I don't understand what he's thinking, won't understand, can't understand and ain't worried about it anymore. I'm not hurt about it, it's just the way it is. And it is what it is, and that's fine.

In other non-news, I also went without television or radio for the past 21 days. I don't miss either. So much so, I think I'm going to cut off my cable and sign up for Netf.lix. My cable bill alone is almost $90 and for what? 5 St.arz channels? Nope. That's gotta go.

My great-aunt is doing okay. I'm still busy taking as much care of her as I can while still trying to live my life. She is a serious gambler, I've come to realize. I've become her partner-in-crime in that arena, so to speak. LOL I shuttle her to the "numbers" house, tell her my dreams so she can figure out the number to "hit", and will be taking her to a casino soon. I love my aunt dearly. I wish I could move in and take care of her properly but as I've said before, she'd put me out in a heartbeat with the life I lead. LOL So in the meantime, I just do what I can.

Well, that's my update for now. Nothing much else going on except Miss E is moving back down here with her husband. I hope it's not the end of our "friendship", because I don't want to be around her husband whatsoever... Ugh. But anywhoo.

Yeah, nothing's going on. Life is QUIET and GREAT. I'm happy. :-)

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