"How could you put me in the back and give him the front seat? How could you? How could you just forget about me?"
Wednesday, Nov. 14, 2007 - 9:01 p.m.
TheBouncer's back.
Yeah, what?! LOL. Why does everybody call to tell me that they're HERE. Nobody ever calls and says, "Hey, I'm on the way!" I guess they figure why call and get my voicemail twice, right? Riiiggghhhttt...
That man confuses me oh so much. I felt like he was just totally confused about what he wanted for a while but I know now that he is completely sure of what and who he wants. And what's crazy is that his assuredness is what makes me almost doubt my surety that he is not the one for me.
I said almost. I know better.
But damn if I don't believe that he loves me. It's just that he doesn't know how to love me the way I want to be loved. And because of how I feel, I can't find it in me to fall head over heels in love with him.
No, I haven't tried but I don't want to either (hey, I'm just being honest here). I have tried and tried to sway him from his thinking but he just refuses to budge. Somebody should make one of those quotes and it should say, "Persistance is the reason for mistakes" or some shit 'cause I tell u, if I was of a weaker mind... For real.
And then, I get those thoughts like damn, I actually have a nigga that really loves me - something I've always thought would be nice - but I can't bring myself to love him. And if nothing else does, that's what brings me heartache right now.
But I have to be able to discern what's right and what ain't for me. I have to be able to do that. And I have to trust my instincts and know that they are right in this situation.
But damn. This shit ain't Poetic Justice. This shit is like a Poetic Kick in the Ass. Booo! :(