2005-01-03 - 3:07 p.m.

Happy New Yurr!!!!

LOL. Well, it's 2005 now. Time for a brand new start and all that, right? I hope so.

So my 2004 went out with a bang. The end of my 2004 was just crazy.

I'm really sad that one of my Great-Aunts died on December 29th. She fell and broke her leg Christmas morning, went in for surgery on Sunday and died on Tuesday. She was the type of person to never be sick. Always up and running. Mind clear as water... It's just such a shock to my family. The funeral is on Friday.

All that sadness. So much grief. I haven't really cried yet. I know that's gonna happen at the funeral. Her kids are like uncles and aunts to me. Her husband is like my grandfather. She was like a grandmother to me, along with my other Great-Aunts. So, it's hard.

But she's where we all say we want to go. It's just that nobody wants to do what they have to do to get there.

R.I.P. Aunt Betty.

It just wouldn't be my own personal diary if I didn't move right along to the way I rang in my New Year.

Oh but first! LOL!!! Remember how I said these dudes always bring they asses back around? Remember how I said that?! Remember how I said I was sick of that?

So Thursday night, me, Vita, Miss Pooh and J go to the poetry spot. We sat through two sets (there were three) and then went to dance. Of course, the poet I used to like (I don't remember what I called him before - I'll call him Real now) was there. The entire night, I acted as if I didn't see him. I didn't need to speak to him, just didn't have anything to say. To help me out, our paths didn't physically cross the whole night. Good.

So, we're leaving. I stopped the host to say goodnight and kept walking. Apparently, the rest of the girls got caught up with the host and fell behind. I walked into a corner and, standing in a place where I had to say something to him in order to pass by, was Real. So, I tapped him and wished him a Happy New Year while reaching out for a handshake. He had something in his hand at the time. He put it down then grabbed me into a hug.

I stepped back when it was done, ready to turn away. Then I saw him looking me up and down. Out of his mouth came the words, "So why did you stop calling me?" LOL!!!! These niggas are really a trip! Like, really!

I said, "I wasn't the one who stopped calling." Even though I was, now that I think about it. I just can't be calling somebody when I'm not sure what's going on. I mean, I'll call you all day once I know the exact status of the situation. But when I don't really know what's going on, I can't be calling.

So then Real proceeded to pull out his phone to get my number. At that point, Vita, Miss Pooh and J walked up. I thought he was gon' shut the whole process down but he kept looking at me like what's the number. LOL! So I gave it to him, said "alright" then proceeded on my merry little way.

Me and the girls were hungry so we hopped in the car and raced to Miami Subs, which closed their doors early. Vita still wanted it so we headed out to one closer to everybody's final destination. We were sitting there eating and laughing and enjoying each other's company. I'ma miss Vita 'till she comes back in the summer.

But yeah. So we're sitting there eating and whatnot. I look at my phone and see that a text has come through. I couldn't believe my eyes. Real had don' sent me a message, askin' if I got home okay. By that point, it was 20 minutes after he had sent the message and I was still not home. About 20 minutes after that, when I was on my way, I replied and said I wasn't home yet but thanks for asking.

What's really funny about this whole situation is that, come to find out, Real was hangin' with my boss that night and they were out with three "sexy" females (my boss always gotta big up the "sexy" thing) so when he sent me the message, he was out with them! And it's funny 'cause my boss was just telling me the story of how he went out with Real, not knowing that I know Real. So that was my highlight in that situation. Mmm-hmm. Niggas always actin' shady. Always.

It's just such an ego-boost to know that niggas can't get over this. Here it is, OVER a year later, and a nigga still wonderin' why I stopped calling...

In other nigga news, let me get on to my New Year's Eve. So J hosted a get-together at her house. As usual, I ran out of time so I came in some chill clothes. I'm there, lookin' like a bum and who shows up but Mark. LOL! I had started drinking around 9:30. Nothing big, nothing major. Just a little bit 'o this, a little bit 'o that. As the night progressed, I decided to let go and play with the homie. So we flirtin', suckin' on a lollipop (seriously).

He went to the bathroom and I had to go. So I rushed him out. He came out...and got me. Took me in the bathroom. This is a one-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment. There are approximately ten people in the apartment so far.

So he wants to start kissing and grabbing and rubbing and all that. I looked him dead in the eye and said, "I will tease you." I told him this. I wanted him to understand that I wasn't doin' nothing. I was not gon' throw away my 5 months of celibacy just like that.

This nigga decides to ignore me and keep it moving. To try to get out of it, I said I had to pee. I proceeded to sit on the toilet and pee. This nigga let me finish peeing then came and picked me up off the toilet! LOL!!!!! Laid me down on the bathroom floor and ate it! Gave the bomb-ass head! WHAT?! Kept asking me to have sex with him. Begged me! Seriously begged me! After I said no for the last time, this nigga said to me, "Well let me finish you off." And proceeded to finish me off! Yes he did! Yes he did!!! LOL.

I left him in the bathroom and came out to find out if midnight had already come, 'cause I sho'll would have loved for that to have rang in my New Year. LOL. Not really, but it would've been fun. It hadn't yet. We still had ten more minutes. Which I don't remember at all. I mean, I remember grabbing my girls by their necks and saying "Happy New Year!!!!" but that's about all I remember. Outside of Mark anyway.

After that, people left, a new crowd of people came. About 15 minutes later, I called David. We talked for a half-hour before I had to go pee again, this time not with Mark. LOL. I forced myself to eat then me and D went and laid down. Woke up and D was gone, now Nat and J were in the bed. We talked 'till like 4am then went to sleep.

I don't have it in me to have a whole discourse on 2005 and what it means to me. 2004 just wasn't that bad. It was alright with me. The only real resolutions I have for 2005 are to be happy, peace-filled and successful, to learn how to be selfish and to learn how to say no. That's about it.

Happy New Year!

I look forward to the New Year. I'm more than happy to be here.

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