"Dream on, dreamer: Life gets in your way."
Tuesday, Oct. 12, 2021 - 12:16 a.m.
Currently trying to complete my self-evaluation for work. To do so, I need to run some numbers. Part of it is manual verification, so I'm kinda avoiding it for a few minutes.
Think I last wrote about how a friend's brother was battling COVID. Unfortunately, he succumbed. His funeral was this past Friday. It's been a heavy week and a half, feeling for her circumstance. It's times like these when I am able to be the friend I like to be for people: to be there unconditionally; to show up physically.
His services were so sad, in that the priest made sure to subtly impress how he didn't have to die. There were options he could have further explored, but chose not to. It's so sad that a family is left without their loved one. A long-term girlfriend who was on the precipice of becoming a fiance, now left to start a love life all over again. An elderly mother, knowing the child who was half her age has left this earth before she did. Siblings left without their baby or older brother. Sad.
On the other hand, another group of reckless (RECKLESS) friends who were all infected are alive and well. And still being reckless. And then catching an attitude when you question their recklessness. And while I'm there, supporting them and their non-COVID related situation, finding out someone I've followed online for many years also succumbed to COVID....
AND THEN, my own family - who nearly all battled the doggone thing last year at the same damn time - preparing for recklessness. I mean, really auntie. You got to have your second wedding (third marriage due to being a widow twice) in a whole entire pandemic with 150 guests?!! But I'll be the bad guy to refuse to attend. SMH
I'm completely over outside at this point. Quite content with electronically sending folks my well-wishes and enjoying my own freaking company. I'm so disappointed with these attitudes and cavalierness with freaking LIFE. Ugh. Before I cut people off for being general assholes, I'd just rather be a hermit. For real, for real.
Finished that evaluation. A major goal for my program was accomplished. I'm super proud of what we did this past fiscal year!! Wooohooo!!! And grateful that I showed up in the way folks envisioned me. Whew. When I saw the metrics, I was like, "Ok, so they were telling the truth about me." 🤦🏾♀️ I know, still so far to go. (Note to self: make therapy appointment.)