"Dance with me. Come on, dance with me, baby."
Tuesday, Sept. 28, 2021 - 10:51 p.m.
So proud. Just read my last entry. Happy to report that all furniture was put together as of this past Saturday, September 25. 😁 An armoire, dresser and nightstand. Cannot believe I assembled those things with my own two hands. I'm so proud of me for buying them and sitting down and putting them together. Super proud of me for that. 😁😁😁😁😁
Last weekend, I drove 3 hours north to visit one of my two half-sisters; my father's daughters. She's the youngest and the one I look the most like. It's so weird spending time with a sibling you don't know at all. Had my mom with me since she actually set it all up. It makes me sad that I don't have a relationship with my sisters. And in chatting, there were aspects of the struggle of my childhood that I could see hurt my sister. It's sad. I want to believe we will grow a bond but I don't think it will realistically happen. I told her I'd make an effort to reach out once a month. LOL. And I will. To her and our other sister. Help me do this, Lord.
Life is kinda crazy right now for people all around me. Feel like I'm standing in the middle of a wild circle. Friends who have the 1-9 (they were unvaccinated by choice), one of whose baby daughter is ill (non-COVID related); friend whose brother is struggling to survive from the 1-9 (also unvaccinated); family member who delivered a baby and fell ill; my aunt whose daughter passed needing all the help and care in the world and me firmly holding that boundary; a society - including my own family and friends - demanding a return to normal when I don't feel comfortable with that... My anxiety has been increasing. I physically feel it.
Decided to take myself out tonight to drinks and dinner. Didn't go as well as I'd hoped but the thought of it helped me be very productive today. I did all kinda stuff throughout the day that I'd been putting off in anticipation of going out tonight.
My neighbor brought his nephew over to talk about some tree trimming I need done. He wanted to flirt and I shut that down. I was so blunt. LOL. I keep laughing about how blunt I was. I so wish I could keep that same energy at all times. I look forward to it 50+ because I KNOW my mouth gon be wide open. LOL Anywhoo, he's coming over tomorrow to trim the trees. I'm happy this will be another thing I knock of my to-do list.
I'm trying to get a handle on my life. It's coming slowly but very surely. I feel it. I embrace it. I celebrate it.
In administrative news, my small mortgage company sold my mortgage to my large bank. I'd wanted to keep those things separate and yet, here I am. LOL. Like, how does that happen. SMH. Also, I invested in crypto and all the prices then dropped. I've NEVER been good at picking stocks. I want to grow my money. All that to say the balance on my loan happens to be the same amount of equity I currently have in my home. Will soon be researching how to leverage a HELOC to invest in additional real estate.
MyLife is so peaceful these days. Like, what's actually going on with me is so mundane. That's why I said it feels like I'm standing in the middle of a circle. I feel kinda guilty that my life is so uneventful while so many others are experiencing trials and tribulations. But at the same time, this is my season of ease and abundance. I am just swimming in it for a while, like I deserve.