Tuesday, Apr. 05, 2022 - 9:22 p.m.

Couple weeks back on a Saturday morning, AReid sent a text. Checked it later in the day.  It was a video of him stirring some conch fritter batter he'd received.  *eyeroll*  He knows it's a fave of mine.  One of his tax clients gives it to him every year.  He's shared it with me for the past few.

Funny enough, my mom has come to expect it around this time of year.  Of course, I never remember.  But her?  Oh, she's patiently waiting. 😂  It's a Bahamian dish and the person who makes it for him is Bahamian.  So it's authentic, which ain't easy to find.  Consistently delicious.  She had recently asked about it, told her I hadn't heard anything.  Couple  days after her asking is when I heard from AReid.

When I saw his text, I sent the simple eyes emoji.  No words.  I refused.  Last year, he gave me the batter but I had to jump through 3 hoops to get it.  It was like an obstacle course.  I said never again.  So I did not want to show interest and play into any games he had in mind about it this year.

Went to tell my mom the batter was in.  "You gotta call him so you can go get it!" 🤦🏾‍♀️  Lady. 🙄😂  *SIGH*  I went into the whole thing about all it took for me to get the batter last year and how I felt it was one of his narcissistic games.  That I wasn't up to playing this year.  But no, she persisted and insisted.  I said to her, "So you would have your only child go through dealing with a narcissist to get some conch fritter batter??"  Sis was like, "Yes."  I'm sitting here laughing but really, it ain't right.

Meanwhile, he'd immediately responded to the eyes, saying he already had some put away for me.  And herein is the thing.  Ugh.  And I hear Tauruses are like that about food.  But I just don't get him.  I really don't.  Nevertheless my mama wanted her conch fritter batter and (even before her newest situation) what she wants, she gets.

Then there's me, who still refuses to play any games to get some damn conch fritter batter.  So I just said, "thank you".  Because I feel like a narcissist is waiting on the attention and if you don't give it, you maintain some level of control still rather than relinquishing all.

But obviously, he wanted me to have it soon.  He quickly said the challenge would be when we next would see each other.  Because I see him about 2 or 3 times a year in passing now.  Which I love, by the way.  Not being anywhere in his proximity is wonderful.  Interestingly, I was scheduled to be in his area the next day, Sunday.  But also, I would be near the office later that week.  So I gave both options.  Surprisingly, he jumped on the one about me being in his area the next day. 

There have been several opportunities over the years where I could have visited his home.  I offered him to come to mine one time: my house warming.  He didn't show up or call; in hindsight, told me everything I needed to know.  But he never invited me to his home.  Ever.  So that was a surprise.  Guess he was bored.

So the next day, I called when I was near.  No answer.  Of course, I immediately said here we go with the games.  But he text a few minutes later when I was already settled in at my friend's place.  Ironically, he lives in a complex next door to a friend of mine and that was the "in the area".  She was having a reception for her daughter's dedication.  So I communicated when I expected to stop by his house.

Time got away from me and I didn't realize it was a couple hours after I said I'd be there.  Guess I knew with him allowing me to come by, that meant he had no plans to leave home so I wasn't in a rush.  He checked on my ETA just as I was leaving to head that way.

I made it over to his complex and he gave me detailed directions on getting to his unit.  Got there and parked.  Walked over to his door.  He literally popped out with a plate with some cooked conch fritters. 😂😂  Said he just so happened to be making some.  Bless his heart.  I was stuffed from the reception so I took a piece to be nice.  I guess he wanted to watch me eat it.  But I held onto it for a while while also holding the batter.

He went into talking....and talking.....and talking....about work.  I let him run his mouth.  For 30 mins.  Standing outside.  Thankfully, the weather was nice.  But it was so telling that he did not invite
me in to have a freaking seat.  I chalked it up to the tax for getting the batter.

Just remembered he had also texted a couple weeks prior to that, even.  He got a promotion and wanted me to know before it was announced.  Minutes before he'd texted me, I thought about him because I saw a car similar to his on the expressway.  Was headed to an art opening for the homie Roscoe.  Thought to myself that I hadn't heard from AReid in a while so that meant I'd probably be hearing from him soon.  About 8mins after that thought, as I pulled into a parking space for the opening, there was the text from AReid.

Back to that Sunday: So I let him run his mouth for a while then said I needed to go.  It had been a long day, I was tired and he wasn't about to waste any more of my Sunday talking about work.  Bid his butt adieu and trotted over to my car.  He was back inside before I pulled out of the space.  SMH, no chivalry.

I was just glad I was able to get the doggone batter without all the rigamarole.  Told my mom this was another step forward for him, allowing me to come *by* his home.  The not going in is crazy but gratefully, I do not care at all.  I got what I came for without having to lose my dignity in the process and that was my only concern.  I'm fine with this distanced, at arms-length acquaintance.  This works well for me.

In thinking about this, I'm reminded of one day in our work building.  The front entrance got moved around to where everyone had to pass by the office suite AReid works in.  For a time, every time I came in the building, I braced myself to run into him.  Over time, I realized that would rarely happen.  So I relaxed about it and moved normally.

One time, I was coming back from picking up breakfast with my messy geigh coworker (love him but he messy).  We were running our mouths about something but not loud at all.  Next to AReid's office suite is a public bathroom.  So as we were passing the bathroom, my voice apparently carried inside.  There is no way we were talking loud.  No way.  And yet, from inside the bathroom, a voice yells out my name.

My coworker looked at me crazy and I was looking crazy because who was that and why??  It was AReid who had not yet finished using the bathroom, calling me from inside the bathroom like a maniac. I was so embarrassed.  LOL  He hustled out with the evidence of having washed his hands, thank goodness.  Came rushing over, making up something urgent to talk about as always.  I kept my coworker there so I wouldn't be left alone with this fool, so he finished quickly and we left.  My coworker just kept looking at me crazy.  Had to let him know I didn't know what was about.  😂😂  Lawd.

"These are my distractions." *in my Usher voice*

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