Monday, Mar. 06, 2017 - 6:29 p.m.

My aunt's husband passed away. He'd been sick for year and in long term care for the past almost 3 years. It was expected, just no one could know the day or time. But the sad part is that he passed at 2am on Friday morning. My aunt would go to see him regularly but did not go on Friday. When she went to visit him on Saturday evening, that's when she, and all of us, found out. That's the heartbreaking part about it. I hate that happened to her and that she found out that way.

He is no longer in pain or suffering, and we know that he is in his forever home. That's the consolation in it all. He got to live to meet his daughter who swore she would never have children's daughter and get to know his granddaughter just a little bit, so there is a lot of comfort in that, as well.

I didn't want to come to work today. Yesterday (Sunday), we went over to my aunt's house and stayed most of the day. She loves having people around so that's her way of dealing with what has happened. It was sad, in a way, because it was her best friend's husband who passed away recently and my mom, who also lost a husband. This same aunt lost a husband before, 16 years ago. So it was sad to see women who've lost loves of their lives. It hurt to see that, especially knowing my mom is a member of that club. *sigh*

So now, we're planning a funeral.

I hate feeling anxious about life going well. I hate waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I swear, one always does. It never fails. My mom and I had the most peaceful Saturday and then got that kinda call. There was another similar peaceful day and it was the day one of my younger cousins was shot and killed.

Like, death. Go away, dude. For real.

In other news, I'm on Day 8 of my Daniel Fast. I'm loving this experience. I got sooo much sleep last week because I was knocking out at 8 and 9pm. LOL I've given up tv and reading my salacious books (and thinking about sex) so my brain was like, welp, since there's nothing else to do. I couldn't even fight sleep. I was probably a little lethargic too, with my body basically being purified. LOL We've been eating majorly clean and it literally shows - I've lost 11 pounds since February 27th. Crazy. If I was trying to lose weight, I wouldn't lose but 2 pounds.

My body has had minimal sugar compared to how much I consume in my normal eating. No cheese, no bread, no meat. By proxy of this eating, I'm not eating a lot of oil, although I know I need to up my fat intake. Lots of water, lots of bananas and oatmeal with peanut butter. LOTS OF POTATOES. LOL

I'm enjoying this experience though.

One of the staff's last day is Wednesday and I. am. looking. forward. to. it! He's a millenial who Life hasn't had a chance to play with yet. I pray it never does. I pray he gets to go through life with this level of idealism for always. Because, baby, if the real world gets a chance to get its claws in him... I'ma pray for him. But I'm glad he's outta my hair. This whole situation is a blessing in full costume, not disguise! Lord, thank you. It's gonna be rough, but thank you. My boss is disgusted with that child, by the way. I need to remember that. LOL

I've been reading a lot of devotionals and this book, "Words for Turbulent Winds", by Andre S. McCollum, Sr. I found out about it from Love Belvin's Ezra series. (LOL - I keep saying how in love I am with that doggone series. I was so happy I finished re-reading it before the Fast started. It's been such a help for me. Even though I don't feel like I'm in turbulent winds with this job stuff, but I'm stocking up for when the going gets rough.

I feel very comforted in God's arms, even with everything going on - yes, there's other stuff that I haven't had a chance to get into here. I'm just grateful to be able to feel comfort in the midst of what is happening. I mean it when I say that Aruba experience got down in my spirit and changed me. I'm so grateful for that opportunity to go through that, to experience that. God's timing is amazing.

Anywhoo, let me go home. LOL I'm using the last few minutes of my day to finally get something down for this space.

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