"I wish I could paint our love.....these moments, in vibrant hues...."
Wednesday, May. 06, 2015 - 9:55 p.m.
I acknowledged today that I have had so much stress in my life over the years, thanks to the theater. I don't know why I let myself be used like this. OnDemand administrative assistant. No pay. SMH
I did something assholish on Friday. Felt REALLY bad about it. Glad it has blown over. Sheesh.
Other than that, the past few days have been nice. Things are okay. I have some things to work on, just don't know when or how or what. I'm not necessarily out of sorts, but I am approaching overwhelmed again.
I have an EAP appointment tomorrow that I have to reschedule. I was looking forward to it.
I feel like I sound distracted right now. I am. I'm listening to Miguel's "Coffee". First day I'm hearing this song, been playing it all afternoon and now, evening.
I want to stop listening to music. It perpetuates all these fantasies about true love, infatuation, lust. All these fantasies that don't necessarily exist and may not ever come true. I'm filling my head with fallacy promises that come to me in daydreams. I think I need to stick to jazz - music without words. No promises of the perfect love to keep.