2006-11-15 - 5:33 p.m.

I went to Sis's shop to get my hair done last night.

It's the original shop I started my locs at. I had to take a break from Ms. Steph - she be trippin' too much to be gettin' paid to do what I ask her to. So, back to where it all started.

There was one customer there when I walked in. I was going to be Sis's last customer of the day.

She worked on that customer as I fielded calls from everybody and they mama, it seemed. In between, we all discussed the upcoming John Leg.end concert, which Sis will be attending and I was trying to see if I'm gonna go.

Which I do think I'm gonna go. I got too many signs in the affirmative not to.

But yeah, back to Sis and the shop.

The other customer left as the timer stopped on my deep conditioning under the dryer. Time to go to "the chair" and get my hair tightened up ('bout time!).

No sooner did my butt hit the chair than did Sis start talking.

She went into a whole discussion on the breakdown of the relationship between she and her husband of 10 years - how he was now out of the house and living with his momma.

Heartbreaking. I swear.

They have 5 children (the youngest having been born in June). She's only 36.

This woman was in the shop, crying while she was doing my hair. I swear, it brings tears to my eyes as I type right now.

Just. So. Sad.

And she could offer me, as a 25-year-old woman, no hope. None whatsoever. 'Cause she said she couldn't even believe it was happening to her.

Crazy.

And I wanted to use that as ammunition for my apathy towards "love" and "relationships" but Lauryn snuck into my conscious sometime during the night 'cause all I can hear is:

"I was hopeless now I'm on Hope Road."

Damn.

For real!

I can't worry about no-good niggas right now. I just can't do it. Can't think about 'em. Can't wonder if I'm ever gon' find the right one. Can't do it.

Not right now.

When I saw her 2-year old sitting on the floor, playing with his litte toy, staring off into space while his mother sat behind me, going on about how "his ass had to go 'cause I ain't with that shit", I felt like I was in a hood movie.

And she is so not ghetto but damn if that really didn't feel like a scene from one of them flicks. For real.

I just don't want to even think about men right now. Their potential to fuck up, to not be who they promise, to just not do right. Their potential to be everything you could ever dream of. The perfect man, the perfect friend, the perfect everything.

I just won't think about it.

I'm thinkin' to add some color to my locs. I was interested last night but I got sidetracked and I ain't have the cash on me no way.

I want to do the racoon thing - the color right in the middle on the top. I'm thinking a nice dark brown or plum. Something that can't really be seen except for in the light. We'll see.

It's funny 'cause I have a patch of locks that have lighter tips in the middle left section of my head. I don't know how it happened but they're cute. LOL.

Maybe by the end of the year.

I bought some Sudanese Frankincense oil from the African sto' a couple weeks ago. At first, I didn't like it 'cause it smelled like medication. But I'm warming up to it now. It's pretty nice.

Too many reports, not enough hands, eyes, ears or brains...

I swear, I could work as a professional my.spa.cer, fa.ce.book.er, a.ol mail checker, blo.gg.er, etc. I mean, make good money sittin' up doin' all that 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.

There's gotta be more to life, I swear. LOL.

I ain't even finna front right now - my coworker gets the official "Sit Yo Ass Down! Award".

I am up here, tryin' to...

Scratch that.

Two of my coworkers are about to be awarded their prize.

I mean really! Can't folk just sit they ass down somewhere so I can search this 'net in peace???! Damn! LOL.

I am so f'n stressed by the plantation right now, it's just not funny. You know it's bad when you're sitting in a meeting, thinking to yourself, "How much time did they say they would appreciate for a resignation notice to give them? Hey, I could even go to grad school full-time and live off the excess loan money... Not a bad thought."

I swear that was me just a few minutes ago.

Lemme get out of here.

the last - the next