2006-06-28 - 3:17 p.m.

Costa Rica was...beautiful...wonderful...too much fun.

I really miss it.

I should've just come back today like everybody else but responsibilities at work would have made that decision the completely wrong one.

So here I sit, back from a time of my life (not the, not yet), working away.

First and foremost, I climbed a mountain. Actually, I should say "hiked up" a mountain. Yeah, that's it.

Thursday, we arrived in La Fortuna, tired after a 3-hour journey through the mountains. We put our stuff in the rooms and headed out to eat. Went to eat, then decided to walk back to the hotel. A 15-minute walk. No problem, right?

Wrong. One little problem I surely did not give a thought to - altitude. To say my lungs were constricted would truly be an understatement. I was in pain the entire walk. I felt like we were walking for hours by the time I got back to the room. I had to strip naked and lay on the bed with a towel over my ass in a room full of grown clothed women and eventually Tito as well. (Tito, I'll come back to in a bit.)

Thank God for that walk though. It will come into play soon enough.

So we get up, get dressed in our swimwear and coverlets, as the impression we had was that we would be following a "trail" through the forest. In our minds, it would be something simple. A tree here, a bird there.

Again, WRONG! LOL.

We get to our destination and discover we are about to embark on a full-out HIKE! Oh my goodness. I just did not want to do it. At all. Especially when I started to see what seemed to be the equivalents of 5 flights of steps at a time. And not no regular steps. Steps that were about 2.5 feet high. At a time.

I was DYING! Right there in the rainforest, near death. And of course it would rain so there I was, full-out sweating in a full-out downpour. Near tears. I told the tour guide, in front of everyone, "Sir, just TAKE my money and send somebody up here to get me!". LOL!!!!

Jorge (who will also be discussed later) told me, "You can do it. It's just mind over matter." I told him, "Honey, it's a whole lot of matter to get over this mind. A WHOLE lot of matter." LOL!

Not only was it difficult because of my size and the fact that I am not in shape by any means. The aforementioned altitude was killing me as we got higher and higher. The Lord does everything for a reason though. Had we not gone on that "little 15-minute walk" earlier in the day, I SURELY would not have made it through that hike. At all.

I didn't realize the magnitude of what I had done until later in the evening as we languished in naturally-heated springs, when Miss E pointed out that although 15 minutes into the hour-and-a-half hike, we were complaining and saying we didn't want to finish and, more importantly, we couldn't finish but in the end, we did it. And that's all that matters. We got through it.

Man, that really means something to me. That something I didn't want to do, didn't possibly think I ever could do, I did it. And under the circumstances it entailed. Through it all, I completed my mission.

I'm ready for the Amazing Race now! Bring it on!

But yeah, Tito and Jorge. LOL. I can't go anywhere or do anything without some dude being involved in the plot.

So Tito is Miss E's older brother. I've known Miss E for 8 years so I've known Tito for that long as well. He was always the type to be sarcastic and pick. I respond well to sarcasm at times so I was always a ready and willing sparring partner for him.

For the past couple of years, he's been involved with a woman that his family does not like. Something about her attitude in general, they're just not pleased with. Ironically, she was one of the deciding factors in the decision of where to go get my locs started as she has locs as well.

Tito has been engaged to her for about two years, I think. They were supposed to be married last summer. However, after the bridal shower (where she received gifts and all), the wedding mysteriously became non-existent. They didn't call it off, they didn't postpone it. It just didn't happen. They haven't broken up but they never got married either.

So Tito is coming on the trip. Solo. All well and good. No problem. Tito is cool peeps but he knows I'll take him down if I have to. I don't take no stuff.

So we're on the trip, chilling a lot. Not much more than anybody else. Not really, anyway. Yeah...not really...LOL.

In short: I like Tito. I'm attracted to his personality, his success, his attitude, his honesty, his intelligence...

I realized that I don't necessarily have a "physical type" anymore. I've seen it all and at the end of the day, a 6-pack does not a good lay make. LOL. A look and a caress of the right spot does more to turn me on that the sight of a chiseled body. And for whatever damn reason, Tito felt the need to be caressing my damn back (!!!) the entire trip. Everyday. Bear hugs out of the blue. Always catching my damn eye... Why couldn't he just act like I wasn't even there?!?!

And on top of that, Miss E gon' take a picture of us and say, "Look at ya'll, lookin' like an old married couple." I tried to sidestep the comment BOTH times she said it. LOL. He looked SO uncomfortable but didn't say anything. And then, the one time I mentioned his fiancee's name, he kinda got upset. I'm like, "what is THAT about?!" LOL.

Thing is, he's a Cancer. The exact opposite of me (July - 6 months) on the exact same day (the 19th).

Which brings me to his cousin, Jorge (hor-hay).

I had never met Jorge before, although Miss E was sure that I had. As proof of such, I assumed Jorge was of the pale-skinned Hispanic persuasion. So when he turned up as a black man, I was totally shocked. LOL. (Miss E and Tito are black Hispanics but they have a group of pale hispanics in their family as well).

For the most part, Jorge was very quiet and unassuming. Handsome in his own way. Very clean. Clean cut. Just unnervingly quiet. From on the plane, we were cool.

Hiking in the forest was where we spent time. He holding my umbrella over us as well as keeping the "baby" dry (me and Dee's (not to be confused with D) stuff). He stayed with me until I stormed off from him in frustration on the hike. I would catch him looking back just to make sure I was okay.

But yeah. Jorge. I like him too. LOL. I just like everybody these days, don't I? LOL! No, not really.

I don't know. He was real cool to me. ESPECIALLY when he bust up in the room with his "volcanic eruption" comment, not knowing I was in there. No more facade. The curtain on his ass was down! I'd heard it all and he didn't realize it until I started cracking up (I had fallen asleep in the room with Miss E and Tito while Jorge was still "out" at the "club" celebrating his birthday). LOL.

But that last day, we rode together and talked for a long time. Later that day, on the ride to dinner, I could see him staring at me out of the corner of my eye when he just knew I wasn't paying attention. Even at dinner, we were chatting it up. Then when I was leaving, he gave me a long, strong hug. Mmmm-mmm-mmm! Shouldn't no man hug no woman like that in front of other folks! LOL. LOL!!! Make somebody wanna just get bucket (bucket-nekkid)! LOL!

Cancers are just funny to me. They are so quick to sum somebody up and then be totally surprised when their constrictions turn out to be off the mark. I got so many, "Oh, you know about this/that?!"'s from Tito and Jorge, it was totally hilarious to me.

But yeah, I like both of them. And in my totally-wanna-be-involved-in-drama fantasies, I'll imagine seducing them both and having them fight to win me. LOL. I need to stop. LOL.

But for real. They both are cool. I know Tito is. Even though he can tend to think he knows everything and then I have to shut him down. "Shut it down!" LOL. I can see that in Jorge too. It's the Cancer in them. They can't help it.

But one day, hopefully they'll make some woman a happy wife. As for me and my Capricorn self, I know it ain't gon' happen. Damian was all it took for me to see that. Those crabs have a hard shell to crack and I just don't have the patience to figure out how to crack 'em.

So, sayonara Tito and Jorge. At least Jorge's from Tampa and Tito I won't have to see too often (except at the sleepover (completely innocent) coming up next month that I suggested and probably when I go to pick up my pictures from the trip since he was my personal photographer after my camera got full). (Okay, I take the last part back. I spoke to my God and told him I know that if he had somebody for me, that man would not be attached to anybody else. So I will not go to Tito's house and try to steal him away from his woman. I just won't do it.)

But I hadn't seen Tito since October as it is and before that, since who knows. So it's all good. And, again since I'm trying to convince myself, I won't see Jorge again. I have nothing to worry about. I can go along my solo path with head held high.

Right.

The truth is, I'll continue to hold it inside and think of what might have been when I see either of them. (Which, now that I think about it, Jorge said he's coming down for the sleepover as well as it's all being done in celebration of Tito's 33rd b-day.)

Know what? I wanna be Minnie Mouse right now. Squeaky (no pun intended) clean, quiet, happy and at peace. How bout them apples?

the last - the next