"He ain't gotta be no gangsta. He ain't gotta be no baller..."
2004-10-05 - 3:09 p.m.
So I called Jerramy on Friday. I really had no choice. It was a Friday and I ain't have nothin' else to do - D & J were both sick and I was tired.
So I called him, knowing what would happen when I did, knowing exactly how the conversation would go. But I called him anyway.
And got exactly what I expected.
I lied. I am a reverter.
But I really don't want to revert anymore. Now, it's about me moving on. And this time, I feel really comfortable doing that because now I know, for sure, that there is nothing left.
After that ridiculous few minutes of back and forth, I went and got me some pizza to fill my mind. Why did I do that? at damn-near midnight? Talk about sick. For the rest of the weekend, I was walking around with a severe cramp in my abdomen. At some points, I couldn't even sit down 'cause then the cramp would move to my damn back. Ugh.
But the weekend was restful - always a pleasure. LOL.
I stuck to my getting up in the morning and coming to the office early to work out. Today was the second day and it was just great. The gym has 2 1/2 walls and one full wall. The rest is windows that let you see the downtown area and the skyline. It's great.
I was just sitting on that bike machine, pedaling away, thinking of how relaxed I really did feel. I mean, my butt is killing me right about now but it's well worth it. I know I can keep up with this - forget the dumb ish.
Yesterday was my first real workout in 9 months. I got up on that treadmill, got on the elliptical machine, got on the bike... I was workin' it boy! It felt like I had never stopped working out...
Until I was done. Damn-near threw up in the parking lot. It was funny. LOL!
But for real, it's been feeling so good to wake up in the morning, knowing that I'm going to be doing something for myself before I do anything for anybody else. It's great and I'm gonna make sure I continue.
And when me and J went out the other night, we got the late-night munchies so we stopped by this fast food place. It was about 1:30am. Went in (we were kinda tipsy) and ordered our food. As we stood there, J said, "Girl, why they showin' a porno up in here?!" And sho' nuff, when I looked, there was a porno on the screen. And the whole staff was male so all of their eyes were glued to the screen. Crazy.
Anyway, right after I finished writing that whole thing about feeling good to wake up in the morning, I just overate. So I'ma go sit back and chill or something. LOL. Terrible, I know.