2002-06-02 - 12:06 p.m.

Jeanne is (quietly) raging outside... I'm sitting here bored. Done slept all I could today. Done watched tv all I could today. Ain't got a single book I really want to read... Don't feel like making no phone calls.

I wanna eat (that hurricane stress again) but my stomach is all in a tizzy so that ain't really happenin' right about now...

Whatever.

Jerramy called me last weekend. Said he just wanted to see how I was doing. It's funny - we never really did anything together but he still wants it real bad. It's been over two years. You would think he would just get over the whole possibility. But no, he still wants it. Bad. LOL. Men.

It kinda shocked me when his call came through. I'm doing so well at not allowing myself to get caught up in thoughts of him and here he go, calling me. They can never just leave me alone.

And I don't mean that in a cocky way. I'm sayin' just let me forget you. Just let me get over you. I'd really appreciate it. But no, they just steady keep poppin' up, tryin' to mess up my damn flow. Make me sick. LOL.

Okay, these hurricanes are really messing up my system. I'ma need them to leave me and my Florida peoples alone.

I went out last night and had a pretty good time. The one time I'm out and don't really feel like drinking, the bartender wanna be all damn friendly and throw another round of drinks in there. She saw that tip and just 'bout fell the hell out. I couldn't let a free drink go to waste, ya know! LOL. Surprisingly, I held up pretty well. I've heard that trick of stickin' to one alcohol all night, just could never get myself to stick to one alcohol all night. But after 4 Tequila Sunrises and 1 shot of Tequila, I wasn't all over the place, I was just right - so the trick must have worked.

Damn, Fred Savage was a busy kid (I'm watching "Little Monsters". It's the only thing on right now.).

It's really funny to me, the way I interact with Reggie. Only me, him and D&J really know what went down between me and him. And he don't even know they know.

Last night, he was promoting this night at a popular hotel/club on South Beach. We went to support him. I was surprised at the crowd but, now that I'm realizing who the host of the evening was, I don't really understand why I was so surprised. But anyway. Yeah. It's just real interesting how we interact.

What's really interesting to me right now? The fact that I am seriously not interested in anything with anybody...

Which reminds me: What is it about me, at 23 years old, that older men feel they are really the best match for me? I mean, seriously. Yesterday, a police officer (yes, a police officer in his patrol car and everything) stopped me as I was rushing to get something done and proceeded to put the full court press on a female. I'm standing there in shock like "don't you have criminals to arrest?". He must be in his 40s. And already said he has a 20-year-old child.

Ugh! The children! What about the children?! I don't have kids. I don't want to be associated (anymore) with a man with children.

LOL!!! This is really hilarious to me.

That I am not seeking ANYTHING but for some crazy reason, I attract all of the same types of men. Crazy.

But for real, sometimes I get into this whole asexual mode. Like, I still have my desires and all that, but when I'm out in the streets, I'm not looking at any guys. When I'm interacting with folks, I'm not trying to handle nothing but business with any dude I come in contact with. I don't quite understand it myself. LOL. Maybe one day I'll figure it out.

Whatever. I guess I'm just gonna get right back under these sheets and try to coax myself into unconsciousness...

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