2004-03-10 - 10:49 a.m.

So I went home last night and binged 'cause this job situation was raising a few hairs on the back of my neck... I had some leftover spaghetti and half a slice of Junior's cheesecake (which ain't all that excellent, if I do say so myself).

I felt bad about it but not as bad as I would normally feel about it. I chalked it up to the minimal worry over the job sitch and went to sleep.

At least I got up this morning and did the damn thang on the treadmill. That made me feel much better about the bingeing episode last night.

Okay, so the job. I started back in May. I've been working on a project for this company. They were trying to switch over to a new software. From the start, I could tell it was a no-go but I just kept my mouth shut and did what they asked me to do.

So, yesterday, my supervisor (one of the vice presidents) pulls me into his office to tell me that they have discontinued the project indefinitely (basically - it ain't never gon' happen) and my last day will be Friday.

Okay. Thank you for the experience. I've always understood it was a contract job. No hard feelings. Have a nice day. I go back to my desk.

Not five minutes later, the same supervisor comes and pulls me into his office again. I don't know what it was. He must have felt really bad about the short notice and then felt worse because I handled the lay-off so well. He done found me some more work at the company under another one of the vice presidents.

Now, I'm in a dilemma. I had done got all hyped up about finding another job as soon as he told me the project had been stopped. I love the pay here but most of the time, my little ole' brain just ain't being stimulated. So, I had done hopped all up on the 'net and started thinking about other outside contacts to get me another job. Then he gone come tell me I got my job back. Messed me all up.

I know, I know. I ain't never satisfied. LOL.

But my thing is I just really believe that I am here to enjoy this life. For real. I believe everybody is too, just that people have to come to realize this. I know God wants me to be happy and having fun and learning and living. I know this. So I feel that where I work should be a place where, yes, I get paid, but I also have fun while I'm working.

I'm not saying I want a job where I play with toys all day. Not that at all. That would probably drive me crazy anyways 'cause I ain't never been one to be captivated by a toy for long.

I just like a fast-paced, high-energy environment. Not sales 'cause I can't stand begging somebody to buy something. Not so much customer service 'cause I be wantin' to tell somebody about theyself for real. I prefer to be like a personal assistant right now. I've done it twice and both times, I really enjoyed my work.

But then again, I know I will be starting school in a few months so I'm thinking I should stay where I'm at for just a little while longer, build the savings account back up, get my life straightened out before I jump into the "looking for employment" fray 'cause it really ain't pretty right about now.

I prayed about it this morning. That God would show me the right thing to do. That he would lead me towards the best decision for me right now. And that's all I will and can do. As of right now, I am staying at my job. But we never know what the days have in store...

I look real cute today and my mommy made me my peanut butter and jelly sammich and I got a good workout on the treadmill (improved my 2-mile time by a minute since the last treadmill workout) and I love that real almond soap I got from Carol's Daughter as well as her Almond Cookie Lotion and Almond Body Balm and the Guava Rain spray and I sent off my car payment today and I paid big money on my credit cards the other day and...

I just have no reason to be upset right now and I'm reveling in it.

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