"Baby, I thought that we could be. But you made a fool of me. And I cannot believe..."
Tuesday, May. 24, 2022 - 5:58 p.m.
I'm a lil mad.
Only because I actually started to like the fool. And I was enjoying the process since I wasn't initially attracted to him. In "getting to know him", I was learning more about his personality. His personality and thinking were just getting attractive to me. We were *right freaking there*. Plus he gave me an amazing massage. Like, a "did u go to school for this??" level massage.
And then the whole truth came out. Bottom fell all the way out.
Damn.
I'm happy because I feel like God himself was like, "Girl, no." I was pushing through all the other issues dude had going on but God was like, nahhhhh. So...
I have no idea what the purpose of our paths crossing was. I feel like it has helped me be more open to "dating". Like, much more interested than I was before (because I really wasn't interested at all). Maybe it'll help me get myself together for that, just in time for the right one to cross my path? Has to be. I mean, for all the drama, it's gotta be something uh-mazing on the other side.
Also, as mentioned, I got way more comfortable with giving someone outside of my comfort zone a chance. Like, if I were not caught off-guard, this guy would have not gotten the time of day from me. So I may need this in my toolbelt soon. Never know.
So I'll take all this as skills I needed. Gotta look at the positives in some way.
'Cause, yeah, I'm a lil mad.
Also a lil mad because my friends have no boundaries with men. After I told them the story, two of 'em were saying how I should give him a chance to explain. Ain't no explain! I had him blocked. Then I started thinking about what they said and (magic words) felt sorry for him. So I unblocked him so he could explain. He stuck to his story.
Then this morning, he's checking in like it's a regular day. Probably just to see if I would respond so he'd 1) know he was not blocked, 2) see if I'm acting upset and 3) should I respond, feel confident he can act a fool in my face and I won't do nothing.
For reason number 3 alone, I re-blocked him again.
Like, for real, that situation could have gone further left and I could have actually been hurt. By something I was not a party to. By someone letting me be caught out there like that. Like, if you not worried about my safety above all, you are not someone I want to be around or have in my life. The shit ain't funny or cute to me. So yeah, he is re-blocked. And I ain't unblocking.
Anywhoo, this is a story for the books. One chapter, dassit, dassall. Thank goodness it didn't get messier than that.