"Being with you... Being with you, I love... Being with you... I love being here with you."
Sunday, May. 22, 2022 - 4:26 p.m.
Little updates.
Had such a good time last night at dinner for a friend's bday. I bought a mustard-colored shawt dress to wear. Got a lil cute because in dealing with my new frand, realized I need to start doing that in general. If I'ma be tryna date anybody, I need to be ready to look like something. So that was nice practice. Was surprised I felt as comfortable as I did. The night was fun for a grown person's Saturday night. Too much likka. Whew.
Woke up just before 5am for no reason then thought I heard something so couldn't get back to sleep. 6am rolled around and I realized there was just enough time to go catch the sunrise. Got myself up and went to the beach. It was very cloudy so I only got a glimpse of the sun long after it was in the sky. But that time to pray and talk to God was so good to me. And for me. With my mom's chemo starting Friday, I knew I needed some God talk time. So that felt amazing.
God is so good.
And I felt so blessed to be able, in all ways, to jump outta bed at 6am on a whim to go do anything. So many people can't. I don't take that for granted and fully acknowledge that even when there are things society says are missing in our lives, we're able to life differently because of those things not being a factor. So hmph!
Speaking of, mentioned my new frand earlier. Well I already tried to cut him off and he resisted. 🤦🏾♀️ Should've kept him blocked like I did but I'm so weak. SMH. There are so many variables at play here that would make anything challenging. Anything at all. Like even a situationship would be a challenge with the way his whole life is set up. And I don't want to use him just as a distraction or even, on the other side, to fetishize him because of all his....stuff. At this point, I'm content with restricting this to text buddies. But we'll see how things go. If I let him have his way, this whole thing is out of my control. So I am treading carefully indeed.
My mom's chemo starts Friday. With everything we've done since February, my mind is treating this like it's just a course of antibiotics. But I know in my heart it's waaaay more serious. Trying to lean on my faith, remembering God has brought her through everything thus far, he can take her through this next leg of the journey just as well. While praying for her healing, I'll be praying for the strengthening of my faith.
Think that's all I have for a couple updates right now. I'm tired b/c Virginia is here and the older I get, the more she seems to beat my behind. WHEW. Waiting on my cousin to pick something up and I think j'll just go lay back down after. I'm pooped.