Monday, Apr. 19, 2021 - 1:58 p.m.

$50,000

I have sat down and tried to imagine what I would do after winning the lottery for even $50,000. I have looked at jobs that could possibly pay $50,000 more and resigned myself to be so far off from that possibility that I convinced myself I probably wouldn't even qualify for the doggone job.

As of yesterday at 1:30pm, I received a $50,000 raise. It went into effect today.

So I talked to everybody in the United States over the past few days. Feels like it, anyway. But really, I talked to those whose counsel I valued in this process. Namely: my mom; Tito, who has been coaching me since December; an old coworker who went through something similar with my org; and a colleague I work with on a daily basis.

Tito spent an hour at 11:30pm on Saturday night, trying to convince me to ask for $10k more. I didn't want to seem petty, I was already overwhelmed by the proposed $40k increase. I felt like that was good enough and I was ready to move forward. But Tito spent time, convincing me that there was likely room to go even higher with how desperate my org is behaving. Also, maybe there would be an extra financial blessing there if I. just. asked.

So, I sat down after our convo ended at 12:30am and wrote out a script. I wrote out how I wanted to lead into the conversation as well as considerations I wanted to discuss - including the additional salary. On Sunday at noon, I spoke with my manager. I let her know how we arrived to this place, where I felt the opportunity I would have to grow would be to go to another organization. I explained to her why I felt that way and I believe she understood it. I gave her my considerations and let her work those through the process.

Even after all the shocks involved in this process, I was still shocked when she called an hour later with an update. My request for the additional $10k was accepted. She said, "So does this mean you will stay?"

*BIG EYE EMOJIS*

Just like that, I'm making $50k additional per year.

And the crazy thing - the craziest thing - is as soon as I heard that, I thought, "Ok, I'll stay there for 3 years while positioning myself to go after something more." LOL! LOLOLOL!

But for real, how the heck?!?! $50,000?!?! ME? THIS LITTLE BLACK GIRL?! FOR REAL?!?! OMG!!!!!

I hung up the phone with my boss and went to tell my mom. I'd spent the day before with her and stayed the night at her house. So I walked in the room where she was and let the suspense build then told her they accepted. I was calm then it HIT ME and I screamed!!!! LOL

It's just unbelievable. God is unbelievable. I feel like so much is just.... Wow. My mind is all over the place.

Recalled today that I'd only been tithing what I felt I could afford for the past several years. I didn't want to tithe 10 whole percent because I felt like that would just....restrict me, financially. Nevertheless, I tithed faithfully, just at an amount not anywhere near 10%. But Tito and I had conversation earlier this year about him and his business and what he's been able to do financially. So I asked him if he tithes a full 10% and he said yes. After all these years, I don't know why that led me to feel like I needed to push myself and tithe 10%. But it did. And I have not stopped being blessed financially since then. It's crazy. CRAZY!

I've been working on my updated budget since I got the final offer from the other org. Just finished tying up what things will look like going forward with this latest final number from my org.

I just can't believe this is happening to me. But I know I deserve it. I'm grateful, I'm grateful, I'm grateful.

The most ironic thing in all of this is that I thought I didn't bring the value that I obviously do to the organization. I was waiting for validation I didn't need. The IMPACT of the work I do should have been enough. Lesson learned. Keep my head down, keep doing the work. Focus on the work. Everything else - EVERYTHING ELSE - will come.

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