"That's what my heart keeps saying. I just can't stop this feeling."
Saturday, Apr. 17, 2021 - 9:29 a.m.
I was mentally a mess yesterday.
Picked my mom up to run a few errands since yesterday was my flex day off. We were headed to breakfast first. Parked the car and my phone started ringing - my boss was calling. Answered. She asked for a bit of my time, I assumed to ask me again to stay. Sure, no problem, let's chat.
She proceeded to give me a formal offer: the title I want and a $40k increase that would go into effect Monday. So from my last working day to my next working day, my salary would increase basically overnight.
Crazy thing about this is I did not believe I brought much value to the organization. Now, I KNOW I do a damn good job. This is indisputable. But from a priority standpoint, I did not feel I meant that much to the executives at my organization. I am not part of any cliques or inner circles. I cannot be found at any happy hours or weekend excursions. I don't do lunches or coffees with the in crowd. And I ain't interested in that either. I like to be who I am and do what I wanna do without the pressure of maintaining relationships just to get ahead. Like, it's just not that serious for me. It ain't. All that to say I don't get exposure to opportunities that others do. While they are able to be promoted in insane ways even without qualifications or experience, I am "stuck" in my seat. So it appears and so they feel.
I imagine it was a shocking wake-up call to hear I secured an opportunity somewhere else. Maybe they thought I was so content with what they were giving me, that I wouldn't? Maybe they thought I wouldn't be able to get anything else?
It's even crazier because for a while, I had those same thoughts about myself! Definitely pursued this process with that attitude, which is likely why I experienced challenges in the interview process. A psychic actually mentioned that my energy was "low" and after looking into it, I agreed. I now understand that was part of the design of this process.
Nevertheless, I take full responsibility for presenting that way as a result of my own insecurities.
But yeah, here goes A**er, acting like she finna leave. Chyle, a full formal offer letter in writing. I'm bout to look at it again just to make sure I see what I've been seeing. 😂 I'm not 100% sure I am going to stay. But I'm definitely leaning in that direction. This is an absolutely compelling proposition they've given me. 😂😂😂 Hmmmm....