"Don't forget to come and pick up your....FEELINGS! Don't leave no pieces!"
Saturday, Jan. 23, 2021 - 11:18 p.m.
I'M 40!!!!!!!
Can't believe it. I remember when 40 seemed light years away. Yet, here it is. Here I am. I'm 40. And loving it.
At 40, I still feel so immature, like I have sooooo much growing up yet to do. And I'm looking forward to it. I feel like I haven't even really, *really* started living just yet. Like that's about to kick off n 5, 4, 3, 2....
40. I didn't even have a vision for 40. That is something. I will start crafting my vision for 50, though. Going to spend this year doing just that.
Also going to spend this year investing in myself, by myself. Not spending money, but spending time and energy improving myself in the ways that matter to me. First and foremost: health. Exercising, eating better, getting proper rest. I will never be able to start living at my potential until I get this 31 year old issue under control. Secondly, pursuing income opportunities. It's time for me to get these businesses swimming in my head, off the ground. Next, learning discipline. I need to go to bed on time, wake up for work on time, not be so distracted all day, get up and do the tasks that need to be done. I can't keep letting my life slip into these long periods of disarray. It's time to be intentional about having an orderly, peaceful, successful life. Discipline will help me do that.
On a related note, I am feeling SO MUCH BETTER!!!! OMG!!!! My heart rate is returning to normal, body temperature is regulating, stomach issues have ceased. Lord, I am so grateful! Looking back, I was so sick. So sick that it makes me sad to think about having been that sick. And still going along. This has happened consistently and it's so dangerous. I have to do better about recognizing when things are out of wack. TMI but I don't want to forget when I was having diarrhea literally 5 times a day and my heart rate was in the 130s. And I was sad about being sick. I have to do better about recognizing and addressing what's happening to me. Hopefully it doesn't happen again for a long time.
Anyway, I've been much happier these past two weeks, thank God.
My friends organized a weekend getaway. Three hours away by car. I hemmed and hawwed because they know I am paranoid about this virus! After a few counseling sessions, safety reassurances and plans for precautions, staying away from people and prayer, I decided to go. They had a wonderful weekend setup for me. Lots of Netflix viewing, cooking breakfast and lounging, a spa evening and the next night, dinner by a private chef. I felt so special. Like, for real. I appreciate them so much. It's hard to express. To have them think of me to that degree and insist on celebrating my big 4-0.... I'm blessed. Truly blessed.
I finished a certification course last week too. Started in the midst of my illness and conclude just as I fully recovered. Can't believe I did it! And under those circumstances! WOW! I blow me away!!! :-))))))))))
Went to the beach with my family today. It was a gorgeous day, the beach was awesome. I enjoyed us being together, albeit socially distanced. Hello!
Tomorrow, I will be planning out my week. Going to sit at my desk until I finish, no excuses. Just like I sit at my desk and finish my work or finish schoolwork, I can do that for me.