"'Cause I'm not a fool and I refuse to let you make my rules."
Wednesday, Apr. 15, 2020 - 8:21 p.m.
Forgot to write about this yesterday: found out DBanks had another child. A baby girl. Because he told all his business on social media, I've seen her picture and know her name. She has her daddy's color and nose.
I woke up a couple mornings ago at 3:43am and could not get back to sleep. It was my first day off Lent, so I could go back on social media. Wasn't going to but when I couldn't sleep, for whatever reason, I decided to take a look at his timeline. I was shocked when I saw that picture. Why? Don't know. Not my business, has no effect on me, we haven't even communicated in over a year. So why the shock? No real reason.
I envy him. With everything about him that I felt was a flaw, there he is with two kids. What I wanted, he has. With all the ways I am perfect and live the perfect life - HA - he has what I've wanted.
But I'm not jealous. I'm happy for him. I hope he's a great father. I hope he takes good care of his children and shows them love. His father died when he was a baby, so he never knew him. I hope his kids gets to know him fully. I hope he is emotionally available for them. I hope he gets to grow old and play with his grandchildren.