"I apologize. Oh, believe me, I do."
Sunday, Mar. 08, 2020 - 11:32 a.m.
Getting ready to refinance my mortgage. I'm currently at 5% for 30 years. As of last month, $25k in additional principal had been applied to my loan since inception!!! (Granted, $13k of that was the leftovers from the renovation.) I was SHOCKED to see that much had been paid down on my principal!! YEARS of my loan shaved off in only a year and a half.
Since interest rates have dropped, I qualify for under 3% with a 15yr mortgage. My goal has always been to pay off my loan in 10 years. I'm almost 2 years in.
OMG. I'm almost 2 years into owning my home!!!!!!!!!!! OMGAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!
Refinancing will start my mortage back over from a Day 1 perspective. But my goal is still 10 years, so that means I'll have 8 years to get this thang knocked out. Phew! But I can do it. With the estimates so far, I'll be able to put a lil extra money towards the principal every month. Gonna play with an amortization table in a little bit to see how it can work out.
Ok, so I played with the table............ I'ma have to get some real extra income in to accomplish my goal. I can do it though. I'm not letting up on myself. I will secure additional income to accomplish my goal.
The artist completed the wall in my home and....it is indeed a wonder to behold. There is literally a whole energy in my house now. The wall is its own entity. It is so much more than what I could have ever imagined. I saw the finished wall and even though he'd spent two days, 6 hours per day... Like, I knew the man was in my actual house, working. I knew it. But seeing the finished wall made everything come together. I could hardly breathe. My brain went completely silent. I was STUNNED. Like, this actually happened to ME in MY HOUSE. OMG!
OMG.
For Lent, I've given up coffee, chips (!!), and social media. Honestly, I haven't missed the coffee but a handful of times. I really expected that to be the hardest sacrifice, but it's totally not. Neither is....social media. I am, like, totally okay being away from social media. Which is surprising, being that I spend so much time looking at timelines. I'd found myself getting more frustrated with society depending so heavily on social media anyway. So this break is much appreciated. And I guess I've been so distracted with life, haven't had time to really notice or miss the timeline lifestyle. And my mind is clearer from so much unnecessary junk, which was much needed.
The hardest sacrifice has actually been the chips. Now, that surprised me. I didn't realize how easily they had crept up into a meal status in my daily life. Like, I would eat dinner, then have chips immediately after as a snack. But sit there and eat half a large bag in one sitting. SMH. I sure miss 'em. I love chips - particularly Tom's Salt & Vinegar. But we needed this time apart. We so needed it. If I remember, I'll try to limit chips to one small bag per week after Lent is over. I'ma try to remember.
So something I've arrived at over the past few days... My life theme for 2020 is #LIFEIN2020VISION (yes, the all caps is important). My intent was to acknowledge my greatness and live accordingly. I'm awesome. And it's time for me to step into my awesomeness. But I had been running from it, which does no one any good. So I'm on the wagon, I'm onboard. I AM AWESOME! But what I've been learning is that I haven't had 2020 Vision. I haven't had God's vision for my life, which is believing I can have everything beyond what I can conceive. It's been happening, but I wasn't actively living in it, pursuing it.
God desires that I have life and have it more abundantly. He wants me to think and live BIG! But I've always held myself back. Meanwhile, he just had to move forward with his plan for my life and let me catch up. I'm getting there. In addition to listening to the book, "Think and Grow Rich" (which I was encouraged to read during the workshop at the start of the year), my coworker Steven and friend Tito have been pushing me to think differently. Conversations with Steven and listening to some of his recommendations (Reverend Ike, namely) have made me realize that I need to change the way I think and speak. I need to think and speak with a growth mindset - a "more" mindset.
For example (and I actually came to this realization this morning), Psalms 23 is a prayer but it's said in a very confident way: "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me."; "Though preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies."
I noticed that this prayer is not from a fearful place, it's from a place of confidence in God's love and desire for my life. It's not, "Lord, I'm in this scary place, PLEASE keep me safe; PLEASE save me." No. It's, "This is a scary place but I am not afraid because I know God is protecting me." It's not, "PLEASE prosper me in the face of my haters." It's, "You prosper me in the face of my haters."
I've been working to change the way I think about life and the things in it. Trying to consciously speak affirmatively, as if the things I want are already done. In doing so, I am beginning to see how I've spoken things I wanted *out* of being and spoken things I didn't want *into* being. This is going to be an interesting road but I'm riding it.