"I don't wanna kiss you, I just want to feel you. Feel you... I want you around."
Sunday, Jun. 30, 2019 - 10:45 p.m.
Listen, my mind hasn't been right since the other day but I am pressing the fuck on.
Went to a coworker's baby shower today. One of my other coworkers likes me. But he won't say anything. I think it's cute but I'm also not very interested. His personality is too abrasive and he challenges everyone on everything. Freaking Virgos, man. Ugh. I think I will enjoy him being uncomfortable though.
I like that men are conflicted on their interest in me. I enjoy that. I can see their minds trying to figure out 1) why they are interested, 2) if I'm interested in them and 3) why their interest won't go away.
It's funny. I'd love to understand it myself. I could be using it to my advantage! But I can't figure the shit out mydamnself. All I do is listen. Hardly am even able to remember everything they said because my memory is trash. But boy, you would swear I am their bestie!
In other news, I tried online dating. Quickly realized I prefer to be approached by men. I already have a strong presence - can't start the convo out because I will take it over. I also see a dude not reaching out first as lack of initiative, which I'm not interested in either. Deleted all my profiles after about two weeks. I ain't got the patience and it's not quite that serious for me just yet.
I'm lightweight worried that I'ma move in my house and get so comfortable being single that I settle into singlehood and do everything in my power to stay there. Don't want to but I'm afraid to find myself on that path.
Lawd.