"Why don't u stay the night? Baby, u should stay the night. U should just stay the night."
Saturday, Apr. 13, 2019 - 10:32 p.m.
(Wrote this days ago.)
Ok, so the telepathic thing gets on my last nerves. It really does. It's happened with two of the most aggravating persons to my romantic soul thus far: DBanks and EFSIL. They BOF (aka "both") keep tapping into this ish (or I'm tapping into theirs) and it gets on my last dayum nerve!
I promise, when I've kinda sorta made up my mind that I want them out of my head, they can tell. I'll get a message or some foolishness almost immediately after the thought. Thankfully, that phase is over with DBanks. But EFSIL? In full effect.
Like, stop it.
This morning, I was reading a novel and something the author wrote made me decide to (quite literally) pull all thoughts of DBanks and EFSIL from my brain and discard their identities from my mental space altogether. I literally took my hand and drug it across my forehead, figuratively pulling all their memories from my mind. I held them in my hand and threw them away. Yes, all while laying in my bed in the dawn of day. Then, I didn't feel like everything got caught so I did it again. The second time, I could FEEL the thoughts, hopes, dreams and memories actually leave my brain. It felt great!
I went back to reading the book and what pops up less than 5 minutes later - in the dawn of freaking day - a message from EFSIL.
Like, STOP! STOP IT!
(I almost wrote, "GO AWAY!", but found myself hesitating becuase the last time I wrote that, it was powerful enough to make his ass go away. So I'ma leave that at that.)
Unrelated, I am in a funky mood today. The cause is that I recognize being groomed by my mother to always say, "Yes." No matter how I am feeling and regardless of what I want to do, it's ingrained in me to say "yes" to whatever others desire of me. And it's been detrimental to me in so many ways. A lot of folks have been able to take advantage of me because of my inability to say "no". I've been placed in unfair positions all throughout my life, at times because I've found it hard or impossible to just say, "no".
And it's not right. And it's not fair. And I will not raise my children to believe or think that they always have to say, "yes". They will not learn that from me. They will be able to say and proudly stand in a "no". They will not be taught to carry guilt for saying, "no". They will not be taught to sacrifice all of oneself instead of saying "no". They will not learn that from me. I refuse to pass that on to my children.
(Present day.)
Went by MyHouse today. Still in awe that I will have not only central air, but a laundry room as well. I feel like this is a chant for me lately (LOL), but every time I see them, I'm blown away. The ductwork for the central air has been installed. Only thing left to do is insulation and the unit. My GC is.... S I G H.
I feel terrible for feeling this way but lawd, working with black people!!!! It's a time!!! This guy is a horrible businessman. He wants to do so much but he is such a mess. I had to put my foot down the other day when I spoke to him and he got upset. Like, BRUH. We are way over the time when this should have been done. It's taking a long time because I'm not constantly after his ass. I shouldn't have to be, tho! Why do I have to be on top of you about doing what you're supposed to do?? It's insanity to me.
It's sad that people will warn you about doing business with black people from the perspective of it's always some mess. But it is literally always some mess. And that's sad.
There's technically an end of the month deadline on the project. This fool is testing that as much as possible. But I'm not letting him slide on it. If anything, I may look into getting him to finish all the major stuff and I get a few other ppl to finish the rest. Because he is definitely one of those who is taking my kindness for weakness.
In other news, because I know I'll never get around to it, I went to Vegas last week for a work conference. The amazing part was last year, I remember going to dinner in Aria, one of the hotels. The hotel was so fancy and beautiful, I said that one day, when I got money, I'd stay there. Well, God sure has a sense of humor because that's where the conference was this year! I got to stay there for free; ate at two of the restaurants for free; there was a plumbing issue with my original room, so I got a $100 credit that my friends and I took advantage of for drinks and gelato; and got to see the ins and outs of the place, from the highest penthouse to the loading dock (work-related, LOL). I am truly blessed!! God works overtime to blow my doggone mind!!
3 of my friends came and stayed a couple nights with me, then we headed to see Seven Magic Mountains, and visit the Hoover Dam & the South Rim of the Grand Canyon. I was overwhelmed at the Dam and Grand Canyon. A-FREAKIN-MAZING!!! Wow! It's like, I'm living in my own, whole entire world yet, there is an ENTIRE WORLD out there! OMG, I loved it. The place is far more than massive. It's impossible to explain and definitely something that must be seen to be understood. Looking forward to going back one day.
It's only a note - nothing that takes over my experience - but our flight home was delayed 16 hours. We already got a $150 credit because I wrote a strongly-worded letter to JetBlue. We might get $250 more. :) So even though it was a huge inconvenience, it will likely all work itself out in the end. The fact that basically my entire trip was free and I may walk away with a $400 flight credit. Lovely!
I'm helping a friend with her budget. We're on her 3rd bi-weekly pay period and, admittedly with the help of a little bit of income tax return money, she just paid off the 3rd of her 7 credit cards!!!!! I am so freaking excited about this!!!!
Budgeting is something I've ascribed to for at least 16 years. Like, I don't do much of anything without budgeting for it. I believe in budgeting! So to be able to share that knowledge and practice with anyone and watch it work in real-time? This has been such a heartwarming journey for me. She requires a lot but the return as far as her success? Worth it!
Nominated a business for an award recently. Hopefully they move into finalist. But the story they told me about their interview experience and who showed up and why ("legendary")?? Hoping the best for them.
Oh! And I'm taking a step to have a conversation with someone about job possibilities. It's just a conversation. On Thursday. Gonna try to be as comfortable as possible in having the conversation. That's my main goal.