TheForest.Diaryland.Com

"Du du du du du du du du du duuu!"

Wednesday, May. 17, 2017 - 11:20 p.m.

(Because I'll never remember what that lyric is supposed to be. LOL. Julian Vaughn, "You're Mine")

Been a lil while.

Almost full into the summer. That's cray.

So last week, I attended a meeting hosted by one of my job's vendors. They are an integral part of our operation. The trip was completely funded by the vendor. At first, my job didn't want to let the vendor pay for the trip but we ain't got no money, so then they were like, it's all good. Hmph.

Anywhoo, it was cool. There was a small group, around 20. Not much time to do anything outside of the schedule. The highlight was dinner at Pappadeaux. All free everythang! Some of the attendees have attended previously, so they were uber comfortable with ordering any and everything. And they did. And I enjoyed. Lke, I want that lifestyle. Buy me all of the things, please and thank you.

Really, I'm here to write about my promotion. Almost two months later, but it's almost official. I'm not advertising it until I sign the paperwork. It's a crszy situation because, again, it's not something I pursued. I feel like it's happening to me without any involvement from me. Almost like rain falling: you can't control it, only try to stay dry as you move through it. It just feels so weird. I guess because I am so focused on working that even if it hadn't happened, I'd still work the way I work. Like, what is supposed to change?

I don't know how to clearly express it. And since I'm typing this on my phone, I won't be digging too deep into it tonight. I need a pc keyboard for those thoughts.

Importantly, the salary offer is an issue for me. I feel slighted by the number. And I hate even thinking like that because I don't need the money and I didn't even ask for the doggone promotion. But if my title is changing and I'm moving into the executive employee class because of said title, I feel like the number should reflect all that. Granted, there's a "sign-on bonus". But I'd rather that lil bonus be added to my salary.

I HATE to even be thinking like this - I feel like a spoiled child. But I know what is usually done in this arena and I know what the other "Directors" in my department are making. And here goes the lil black girl who's been doing the work, with qualifications, recognized for the work, but let's just throw her some change and she'll be happy.

Nah. It nah work like dat.

I spoke to my boss about it. I approached her from a personal perspective. Wasn't going to but she made mention of something that I couldn't ignore as a sign to address my feelings. There comes a time when swallowing your feelings so that others can be comfortable just ain't the move anymore. That was the time. So I spoke with her.

Told her, professionally, I understand that this is an amazing opportunity and I appreciate her advocating for it on my behalf. But, on a personal level, I feel like as a black woman in the workplace, the narrative around how black women are treated in the workplace applied to the situation. They wouldn't do someone else like that. A white male wouldn't have had this experience. (Well, I ain't say that last part...outright, anyway.)

She knew I was going to respond this way. When she told me about the promotion being approved and showed me the salary, I could tell it was being done with the expectation that I was gon' act a fool. Which, I didn't initially because the low salary caught me so off-guard. She wasn't happy with the number her damn-self. I was just too stunned by the number to react at that moment. But the more I thought about it over the weekend, the more I knew if I didn't at least get out my feelings on it, the more I would start to resent it.

Seriously, this situation is inspiring me to start looking elsewhere. I mean, I never intended to stay at my company forever. I had started opening my eyes a few months back. But this situation, plus having that title? Now at least with the title, I'll be in a better position to make moves.

The whole thing is, just like I told my boss, I don't know that I even want to "fight" for more money right now. I moreso just wanted to let it be known that I know that compensation doesn't match the title. I know it was a lazy, arbitrary number. I know they just call themselves doing something to say something was done.

But the laziness behind it and the audacity to suggest a number so low. I would be at the title all the other Directors are at, making $30, $40, $50k less. I couldn't sit there like that was ok. They'd be making me leave.

Crazy thing is, I know how hard my boss fought for me. She met with the compensation guy in our office one day. With the door closed, myself and my two coworkers could hear her in there, arguing with the compensation guy. So I know it wasn't her. But I feel like her boss is the final approver and he could've went to bat for me. But I'm not one of his pets, so he wouldn't. And obviously, didn't.

All of this to say, I AM SO MAD THAT THIS IS EVEN ON MY MIND INSTEAD OF BASKING IN MY FREAKING PROMOTION! Like, I am getting a PROMOTION! OWWWWWWW!!!! God is soooo good! Amazing! I feel like....I don't even know what he's doing. I'm just appreciative of whatever this is. And I know he will work the money out.

I'm glad I spoke my mind though. Gotta let 'em know I'm not the regular field negro. Like "they" say and I put on twitter the other day: "Know your worth and add taxes" to that mugg.

It's ironic that two days before I found out about my promotion, AReid found out he was being promoted. He told me and mentioned he wasn't getting the money he thought he should. I told him that the title was the priority, not to worry about the money right now . And I meant that. And I still mean it - even for my situation. But that don't mean I don't peep the trend and won't start making moves, accordingly.

the last - the next

The Trees Today - The Trees I've Seent. - Diaryland.


The Last 5 Trees
"He's The Wiiiiiz! He's the Wizaaaaarrrrd!" - Wednesday, Sept. 06, 2017
"Why you bother me when you know you got a woman?!" - Wednesday, Sept. 06, 2017
"I'm too good to u. I'm way too good to u. U take my love for granted. I just don't understand it." - Tuesday, Aug. 22, 2017
"I'll show u how it's supposed to feel when we meet at Orion's Belt." - Wednesday, Jun. 14, 2017
"It's so good....good....to be loved by you." - Friday, Jun. 09, 2017