Saturday, Jun. 20, 2015 - 11:24 p.m.

Lauryn Hill know she wrote a hell of an album with Miseducation. Damn!

Had to jump on here and write real quick because, my Lord, folks tryna drive me mad!

My family is realllly doing the most with our reunion this year. Fights breaking out all over the place. Everybody's a chief, no indians. The people doing all the shot-calling are making a mess of things. It's crazy.

I didn't even want to participate because I was pissed off at everybody always screaming "FAMILY", but when my Aunt Jen needed her "FAMILY", nobody showed up! Even now, her sister needs the "FAMILY", but again, everybody's M-I-A.

But I know I can't hold ill will towards people for what *I* feel they should be doing. So I said let me get involved, minimally.

Well, I've been involved more than minimally, of course. And then the people that were working on everything decided that my generation should be in charge of everything. So now, it's all on the shoulders of us who are willing - which is only a few. *sigh*

Anywhoo, my older first cousin is trying to do the absolute most. Can't even pay her fees for the doggone reunion, but over here tryna make it a Broadway production with dancing monkeys and flying chimpanzees! Ok, I'm definitely exaggerating. But my point is she wants to do everything in the world, doesn't have the stuff that needs to be done, done. Then when everything goes awry, she be the main one acting like she had nothing to do with anything.

So we got into a "discussion" tonight about something she was trying to bully me into doing. I said before that I didn't want to do it but she tried to act like she didn’t hear me.

I'm over being forced into more than what I'm already reluctantly doing in the first place. If I said "NO." to everything I didn’t want to do, people would faint, I'm sure. So I try to pick and choose my battle. But this one, I was not willing to change my stance on.

I'm writing here because I know she's pissed but I can't be rushing to make sure people "understand" what I'm trying to say. I've gotta learn to say my piece, stand in my stance and move on. Because I usually work so hard to give an explanation for my "NO." that makes sense, it's hard for people to believe me when I simply say, "NO." or "I don’t want to do that." This is why she attempted to proceed with her plan as if I never voiced my desire to not do what she is suggesting. But that was her bad. Oh well.

I do not like situations where people try to "present" themselves to others in a familial environment. We are all human, we all eat, sleep and breathe. When it comes to "FAMILY", it shouldn't be that "we are gonna show them how WE do it". That's a business attitude that should be reserved for a business presentation. Family shouldn't be like or about that. If you're doing something for "FAMILY", it should be with the goal of doing the best you can for your "FAMILY".

That's my two cents.

I'm glad I came to write about this here. I feel a little better already. Cause I was pretty hot, especially when she tried to imply that I never said I didn't want to participate so now I'm all of a sudden throwing a wrench in a plan I previously agreed on. But since I have a witness, ain't nothing she can say.

I want her to get her shit together before she worries about trying to do the absolute damn most with this reunion. That's what I want.

But anywhoo. Virginia is on her way, so I know that has a lot to do with my feelings on this discussion with her tonight.

I went to another baby shower today. Went to one yesterday, going to another one in a couple weeks and another of my first cousins is having her first baby in just over a week. Babies all over the place! Lawd.

Finally got my car a/c tended to after it not working for the past year and a half. It completely stopped blowing cool air early this year. Didn't bother me too much until this past week so I left it alone. I was scared to find out if it would be a costly repair. I'm so dumb, because all it took to fix my a/c was 30 minutes of recharging/refilling the freon and $70. SMH. But at least it's fixed now. :-)

the last - the next