"Through it all, I made it through another day's journey. God kept me here."
Sunday, Dec. 29, 2013 - 6:50 p.m.
I hate that my diary has been so depressing lately. I feel like my twitter has too. Like, I read back over both and I just feel....
Sad.
It's true to life though. This is what's going on with me. My twitter is the same. They are both reflections of what I'm going through.
I just hate that so many hard and sad and rough things are happening.
I feel like they happen so much.
I feel like there are also great & amazing things happening. I swear, there is a reason for me to laugh until my stomach hurts at least once a day. I'm so truly loved by family and friends. My eyes are seeing so many things. Blessing fall upon me clean out of the sky as if I am begging God for them on a regular basis. Seriously. Whatever I ask for, God gives it to me - and many times, it's more than I could have asked for. Like, for real.
But it seems like I just hold onto the rough parts. The hard parts. The sad parts.
Maybe because the things that happen affect me so deeply. They touch me to the core of my being and knock me off my feet. Like, the shit be tragic. To me. And I feel like I have a pretty good understanding of tragedy to say that.
I think it's just that I feel like I can't catch a break. My mom was even sick two weeks ago - outside of her regular pains & illness. Like.... Lord. My Lord.
I don't question him though. I know there's a reason behind all this. There's a reason for this life of mine. There's a reason for the things that I've been through.
Regardless of the reasons, I'm here. He brought me through. He'll continue to do that. He'll keep bringing me through. I must trust him to do that.
In the meantime, I need to leaen how to deal with whatever comes. I need to learn how to steel myself so that I do not get knocked down but instead rise to the challenge. Face each obstacle as it comes and overcome it. I must. My life depends on it.