Wednesday, Aug. 14, 2013 - 9:03 p.m.

Soooo..... I was inspired to post this personal journal entry I had typed up when I got back from NY. (#miaback)

A little backstory: Jorge is in a relationship. D tried to hit up Jorge knowing his current relationship and our dealings in the past (which she denied knowing anything about with her lying ass). I went to NY with my friend MissPooh. And oh yeah, Jorge and I have an arranged marriage that will go into effect if we're both 35 and unmarried - we both want that traditional family and neither of us have it yet so just in case. ;). And my eyes were swollen because at that time, I wasn't on thyroid meds yet (I am now & my eyes are back to normal).

I didn't post it here initially because it was just a memory keeping effort for me. I didn't see a need to put it on my dland because I don't want to think back on it later. Well, didn't want to think back on it later. But after being inspired by another's recall of their experience (#miaback), I now want to put it here.

Sooooo...... New York, New York!

I had previously texted Jorge to ask if he knew of anything going over the weekend. He informed that he didn't but that he would look into it for me. He never got back to me. But whatever, I really wasn't expecting him to.

So I got to NY and resolved to act like he doesn't live there but I did keep an eye out for police officers to see if any were him. They weren't.

Saturday, we did a lot of running around and got back to the hotel too late to go out. We were tired anyway so we just went to sleep.

Sunday, we got a late start & headed out to the day party. In the late afternoon, I got a text from Jorge asking if I was in town. I affirmed and he indicated that he wanted to hang out. I told him our availability (or lack thereof) and said I'd keep him posted. I knew that I didn't intend to.

Monday, MissPooh was feeling very sick & didn't want to do anything but didn't want to stay in the room. I wanted to get out & watch the Heat game no matter what so I hit up Jorge to see his availability. He told me that he forgot he had to work a Yankees game but would be willing to hangout after. I said ok but I was already thinking I wouldn't be up to hanging out late. MissPooh & I ended up going to a bar to watch the fiest half and retreating to the room for the second.

Well, the day turned into night. At 10:30pm, he texted asking where I was because he was almost off & if I wanted a drink? I told him that I was at the hotel (near the Empire State Bldg) & would understand if he didn't feel up to the hassle of driving and parking, thinking that would dissuade him. He told me, "u must have forgotten who I work for". LOL. Turn-on. Ugh. LOL.

He was insistent on seeing me so even though I didn't feel like seeing him, I got up and ready anyway, putting on a comfortable outfit and lightly beating my face. My swollen eyes were making me uncomfortable so I wanted to conceal them a little.

He called at 11:20 - he was at the hotel. I said goodbye to MissPooh and hopped on downstairs.

He was waiting in the lobby and grabbed me up in a strong hug like he was happy to see me. I immediately felt comfortable and started to look forward to the evening.

I thought we would go to a bar in the area but we headed towards his car, the BMW he had previously mentioned. Nice. We hopped in and headed out. He told me we were going to the West Village. I told him that was where we had wanted to go but never made it. We talked about things - his girlfriend & that they're currently on the rocks, how he's over his job & wants to go to law school, how he's over NY....

We parked and he said we'd be heading out to go to a bar or even bar-hop. He says, "I'm gonna take u to a really good bar. It's called Fat Black Pussycat." I could not believe my ears!!! I told him how that was exactly where I wanted to go the whole time. I was so in shock. Out of all the places in NYC, we were going exactly where I wanted to go. If that don't beat all.... LOL

We went and had a drink and talked. He went far into the issues with his parents than he had previously. It was pretty deep. And he was so open, which really shocked me. It made me feel good that he felt comfortable enough with me to talk to me like that. I encouraged him to seek therapy to deal with his issues as I will be seeking it to deal with mine.

We were done and I just wanted to see the place so we went into the back room. As we were walking in the door, of course a young lady was doing karaoke, singing "Soon As I Get Home" (one of my favorite songs EVAR). Of course! LOL. We stayed and enjoyed a little more of the performances before I was ready to head to the next spot.

After I came from the bathroom, I walked outside to him talking on the cell phone, I'm assuming to his girlfriend (whose call he had previously ignored when we were inside). He got off the phone pretty quickly (but not without talking to me while still on the call) and we proceeded to walking around the area.

We stepped into one bar but I couldn't take the rock music, so we left. We were passing another bar which he was telling me had a comedy club in its downstairs lounge. We were about to keep walking but I heard one lone guitar lick and thought they were getting ready to play live music so I said let's go in.

I must pat myself on the back for such a good choice. I REALLY enjoyed that place! The musicians were crazy and amazing. Loved it! Jorge bought my drinks. Usually, I would offer o get us a round or two but I didn't even make a move to get money. LOL. He was paying or I wasn't gonna drink at all. Hell, he invited me out! And also, I wanted the feeling of somebody doing something for me lately, so there!

We had a few rounds and talked quite a bit once we were both drunk. LOL. I "presented" him with the D situation & told him it's fine with me, we're all grown, it doesn't matter to me. He insisted that it wasn't like that at all & did his best to convince me that he isn't an "asshole". I told him that I believe him (which I do because I know D & I'm well-aware of this weird competition she has me in) but at the same (damn) time, I don't care either way. And I don't. I think it's messy but I shole as hell ain't losing no sleep over it.

We talked about his girlfriend because even though he told me he felt weird talking to me about his girlfriend, he kept bringing the situation up, that their issue revolves around communication and miscommunication. All I did was offer a possible solution and kept it moving. I wasn't about to have a say on anything regarding his relationship.

He said that he wasn't pleased that I don't call him or text him at all anymore. Not withstanding the fact that I don't hear from him but every blue moon, I told him that our conversations were not always kosher so I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to him while he has a girlfriend. I explained that I am very respectful of relationships and I believe that to be true. I haven't willfully engaged with someone in a real relationship and I don't plan to either.

I did feel very physically attracted to him the whole time we were together. I had to remind myself not to behave lustfully towards him, not to look at his mouth and to avoid his eyes when I was having unclean thoughts. LOL. It worked for the most part even though there were times I really struggled.

I feel like he made sure to tell me that him & his girlfriend were on the rocks starting from before my butt hit the seat of his car but I was not about to do anything with that bit of information. Nothing at all. Nope.

He made comments here and there, up to and including reminiscing on standing in front of the balcony windows at my old apartment, naked. SMH. There were other comments but I did my best to ignore them. Obviously it worked because I can't even remember what he said. LOL. Good job, me!

He went into some even deeper convo about himself, revolving around mental health and negative personality traits. I was shocked at how open he was being. I mean, really open. It was crazy doe. And I can't even attribute it all to the alcohol because we were having some REAL TALK. Like, REAL talk. Well.

He told me that he was happy he was at that place at that time, with me. I didn't take it any certain way and didn't react to it. I couldn't. It wouldn't have done any good to do so. So I didn't. I may have liked to but I definitely refrained. Again, good job, me!

It was late (after 3am) and we would only have drank more and gotten into trouble so I said let's leave. He drove me back to the hotel & parked out front then got out to give me a hug goodbye.

We gave each other a kiss on the cheek and a hug. I was secretly hoping that our lips would brush but that didn't happen and it didn't need to anyway. We left on a clean, clean note. He told me I should come back up to NY so we could hang out, that he would take off a couple of days & show me around. I would like to but I won't.

I walked away with the feeling again that Jorge and I will end up together. He's a "good guy" & we mesh well with so many of the same ideals, we're attracted to each other and we are interested in each other as well.

But life is telling me he's not TheOne. Or am I telling myself that so that we can avoid a big mess of things?

I don't know. But I know that for right now, I'm not thinking about a Jorge. It's perfect that we are so far from each other. I'm happy about that.

I just wanted to get down how the night went. Life has a funny, funny way.... ;)

Back to today: One of the things I got to experience was riding down Broadway with the synchronized stop lights turning green-green-green, one after the other. It was so late that there were very few other cars on the road. That NYC scenery with those lights.... I smile whenever I think about it.

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