"When I get like this something is gonna happen...."
Saturday, Apr. 27, 2013 - 11:10 p.m.
The 25th was my 1-year "Celibersary".
One year of being purposefully celibate.
Can't believe I made it.
It's been pretty easy though. With my stepdad passing away and living in my mom's house, it's not something that's been as heavy on my mind as it used to be anyway.
Yes, sex used to be HEAVY on my mind.
Phew.
Okay, no revisiting memories. LOL
But yeah, I've made it a full year without any whatsoever.
I was talking to a friend of mine about it tonight, and how I'm thinking about stretching this into two years. She's against me stretching it into two years because she's just as much of a freak as me (LOL) and says she's "pro-sex" so she doesn't think I need to "go that far". I just felt like I decided to take this time to do some introspection that I felt I had not yet done. But talking to her helped me see where, althought I had not been sitting, examining myself, making a million conscious changes, I have changed.
A situation came up that really caused me to put into practice a lot of the things that I realized that I needed to do differently. It happened during my spiritual fast and it didn't hit me until tonight that God helped me with that one. He did the situation just for me to confront some things and come to grips with others. God's timing is amazing.
But yeah, also on the 24th, DBanks reminded me that it's been a year since our last "encounter". He was really the reason I decided to become celibate. I knew I needed to be finally over and done with him and since the sex was what was holding us together, I knew I needed to cut that out of the equation. It worked. I'm over him. But yeah, we were texting and this nigga dropped an "I love you too" in there. But I didn't say "I love you" to him so I inquired if that was for the woman he's now living with or the mother of his child. This nigga tried to tell me it was for me.
Bittttttch.....
chyle please!
For the past 6 months, he has tried every one of his tactics to get back between my legs. Every one. So this little stunt was definitely his cheapest. I call it "grasping for straws". Thankfully, I've become immune to the shenanigans. Before, I may have fallen for the flip he put on things. But not this time.
It took this long for me to be over him to the point where I don't turn back. I'm just glad I'm finally over him. Phew, it's been TOO long. But I needed this time. It's been good for me. I'm happy right now and regardless of the time it took, it was worth it.