"Nothing that u say ever gets through. Listening but they don't hear u!"
Sunday, Aug. 19, 2012 - 8:51 a.m.
I'm learning that it's okay to walk away from people and relationships that are not good for you. �That's something I've always struggled with but I feel like as I get older, it's becoming "easier" for me to do.
Yesterday, DBanks hit me up. �
Now, I had walked away from that situation after his last round of stunts & shows. �It's funny that I knew the root reason behind it when it happened but I didn't let on. �I just accepted that we both needed to be away from each other and proceeded to move the hell on with my life.
So yeah, he hit me up. �I tried to keep it cute and avoid any drama but he kept pulling until he ended up getting Tha Bizness. �Of course, he did not appreciate it but hey, I tried.
Anywhoo, we mutually agreed to end the bs that the situation is once and for all. �Okay. �It's done. Bye.
But why last night, I felt a lil guilty about it? �And I just caught myself feeling a lil guilty again?!
Ugh.
What I'm learning on a daily basis is that EYE to have to look out for my very own mental health (& physical too). �EYE have to be the one looking out for ME.
One of my major problems is being synpathetic and empathetic to the point where I take on the problems others have and damn-near make them my own. �Can't keep doing that. �I have enough of my own shit going on. �Seriously. �Actually, more than enough of my own issues and problems. �I don't have room to take on anyone else's issues anymore. �Never have but I did. �But I'm at the tipping point now - I can't afford to donate myself to anyone else's problems. �I can't.
I won't when it comes to DBanks. I think about that situation and see how not associating with him will not hurt my life in any way. �There's nothing so great that he added to my life that I will be missing out on. �Absolutely nothing. �The only thing I will be doing to myself by staying away from him is keeping so much more of myself. �And honestly, that's a muthafuckin benefit!
I can't let feeling sorry for him drag me back down into the abyss.
It's quite amusing, the mind games he likes to play. �Tries to give me enough time to get over what I need to get over then comes knocking. �It's a cycle. �And probably very entertaining to him. � Not so much to me.
Anywhoosies!
At least it was a cathartic conversation on my part. �I said my piece. �He said his. �And then we anti-climatically said goodbye.
I hope this time, it's for real. �Don't feel like going through this foolishness not even one more time. �Seriously.