TheForest.Diaryland.Com

"I'm not always there when you call, but I'm always on time..."

Friday, May. 13, 2011 - 12:24 p.m.

This whole DBanks thing...� It's over...� FINALLY.� Like, no turning back, over.� Over, done with, finito, complete, locked and the key has been thrown away.� Nothing climactic.� It just ran its course and finally came to its natural end.� Which is GREAT!� I LOVE IT!

HOWEVER, I did start to become caught up in the memories (aka the PAST).� It wasn't a regular thing.� Quite sporadic, actually.� But when it hit?� Ummmm......it hit.....like a strong pinch.� But nothing I couldn't get over.� Haven't gotten over.� Am over.� Yes, am over.� LOL

Anywhoo, so I would get caught up in the memories and then have thoughts and then wonder what if and then....� Over and over again.

But recently, I read an article that talked about the fact that "men choose while women settle".� Got me to seriously thinking.� Like, seriously.� Hmmm...

Then a coworker of mine who had her son later in life told me her whole story and how everything has worked out in the end....� Started seriously thinking some mo'.....

And then I felt it......the "click".� Like, it's OKAY that I'm 30 years old and single with no children.� IT'S OKAY.� There's nothing wrong with it.� My life isn't going to come to an end - I won't cease to BE - just because I don't have the fairytale that little girls are brought up to expect: husband, kids, picket fence.� I don't have those things but I'm employed, doing well for myself, travelling the world, living life to the fullest, loving the people around me.� I'm not lacking.� I'm not wihtout the basic necessities of food, water, shelter.

I'm living a great life right now.� And my responsibility to me is to enjoy each day as it comes and however it comes.� Whatever I come across in a day - be it a new experience, meeting a new individual, the opportunity to strengthen and make more meaningful the relationships with the people that are in my life now and that I love and care about - WHATEVER it may be.� I owe it to myself to just ENJOY my life.� I can't worry about what I don't have now or what others have experienced that I haven't.� Everything in its time.� Right now, the things that are meant for me, I HAVE.� So I can't live everyday focused on the things that I WISH I could have right now.� That's not only counterproductive, it also makes no sense.

So I'm committed to living my life one day at a time, enjoying the fruits that are flourishing in my daily existence as is, continuing to pray over the seeds I know are up there germinating with God and taking air into my lungs and expelling it out as it comes.� I can't do anymore than that.� To try would be a waste of time.

the last - the next

The Trees Today - The Trees I've Seent. - Diaryland.


The Last 5 Trees
"Until the end of time, I'll be there for you. You are my heart and mind. I truly adore you." - Sunday, Oct. 30, 2016
"Don't touch what's there...when it's the feelings I wear..." - Saturday, Oct. 08, 2016
"I will enter his gates with thanksgiving in my heart, I will enter his courts with praise." - Friday, Oct. 07, 2016
"I tried to run it away. Thought then my head'd be feeling clearer...." - Tuesday, Oct. 04, 2016
"Boy, your money and my money? Ain't the same damn kind. I can live your life and my life AT THE SAME DAMN TIME!" - Sunday, Oct. 02, 2016