"Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart? �Well you can try sleeping in my bed..."
Wednesday, Dec. 23, 2009 - 4:39 p.m.
So it's done. �A bish graduated. �Got my Master's Degree in Business Administration. �Holla!!!
I'm very proud of myself. �VERY proud of myself! �I'm the first person in my immediate family to get a Masters. �That's just...crazy. �I hope the younger cousins coming up follow suit and that my fellow-aged cousins get on the ball to make it happen. �It's just crazy for real to think that we have this opportunity that our ancestors didn't have. �Man... �Amazing.
I thought I would be able to sit down and just relax but that hasn't really happened yet. �LOL �The holidays are about to run me ragged, but I'm having fun, so no complaints.
In other news, I dropped DBanks. �Just didn't feel like riding the ride anymore. �Got off at my stop and let the train keep on going. �I missed him for a couple hours that night but then... �*poof* �Don't miss him anymore. �I guess it just got to the point where I was annoyed at him more than anything so that's the last taste I have of him in my mouth, so to speak. �(Nasty! �LOL �But I didn't mean it that way!!! �ROFL)
Anywhoo, yeah. �I'm sad we're done with whatever it was we were doing but I require clarity and stability. �With him, there was never always both or even either. �At times, the two would both be at 100% and I can work with that. �But when it starts fluctuating - 25% clarity/83% stability, for example - I just can't deal with that. �That's not me.
And again, I wasn't in the business of changing him. �But at the same time, I'm finally getting on the kick of living a life that is pleasing to ME. �Too often, I'm torturing myself, being busy trying to make someone else happy. �And who suffers in that situation? �Me. �I'm suffering while the other person is reaping all the benefits.
So I decided with DBanks and moving forward with anybody else, I have to be benefitting myself to a certain degree in any situation I find myself in. �No more prolonging the inevitable or being miserable so that somebody else can live out their dreams. �I'm doing me in 2010. �Periot. �I'm turning 29 soon. �No more playing silly games. �Time to man up and be an adult.
And another thing: �I'm aiming to live an honest life in 2010. �I want to live honestly - speak honestly, act honestly, all that. �I'm going to tell people how I really feel instead of lying because I think they can't handle the truth. �It's not fair of me to shortchange anybody that way - by seeing them as weaker than they are or not giving them the respect of knowing the truth. �I'm sure it's going to cost me some personal relationships but guess what?
Oh. Well.
The relationship probably wasn't the best to begin with if that's the case. �I'm prepared for the fallout.
On another note, I'm excited about 2010. �2009 was one of the best yet. �I'm excited to see what God has in store for me next year. �I'm praying for the best and expecting the best as well.
Welp, gotta run. �I'm typing this at work b/c my laptop is sick. �Might be the hard drive. �*sniff* �So if I've been sporadic with my entries as it is, it's going to be even worse the next couple weeks. �Hopefully, I get it fixed soon - and before the new year - so that I can get back to semi-daily posting like I was pre-2007. �LOL