"I coulda been in love by now if it wasn't for T.O.N.Y."
Wednesday, Jun. 03, 2009 - 7:25 p.m.
*sigh*
Lawd, it's the same ol' sto-ray! I'm is TIRED! T-I-RED! TIRED!!!!
I just want one day where I ain't gotta do SHIT. Not a ding-dang thang! Just sit on my ass and watch the dust form on the wall. Just ONE day.
I swear, I swear, I SWEAR that every new week, it seems like the following week is gonna be more crazy-busy than the previous week, which I thought was the craziest week EVAR. LOL. I mean, I'm laughing because that's all I can do. Otherwise, I'd go crazy.
A good example that I'm not looking forward to is that the weekend of the 27th, all 3 of my classes are ending, with projects, papers, exams due. OF COURSE, I'm in a wedding on the 27th. *dead* AND THEN, I'm going to NC the weekend after THAT.
Seriously. Every weekend is like this. This Saturday, I have an exam, a funeral and a birthday party. Sunday is an exam and 2 birthday parties. I was asked to hang out Friday night but I think I'm gonna have to cancel just so I can spend some time with my new friend, DBanks.
Yeah, about him...
LOL. Naw, he's just a "friend" right now (with PLENTY of benefits). We're just getting to know each other and hang out, etc. He's cool. I really don't want to like him just because I'm the type that doesn't like to "like" anybody. It's the whole disappointment thing. It gets yucky 'cause I HATE being disappointed. Nevertheless, when I saw a message he'd sent me today, I was surprised at the kool-aid-ass grin on my damn face. Ugh! Who does that?!?! Oh yeah, women. And "ain't I a woman"? Oh yeah, that's right, I am. *screw face*
Anywhoo, we've been hanging out pretty tough considering he works nights during the week and I'm always running around on the weekends. It's weird. For the first time, I can sit around somebody and just be quiet and completely and totally relaxed and truly say I had a good time. I really don't have any expectations (especially considering I'm not looking for anything in this situation). None, whatsoever.
Yet and still, I will not accept this situation becoming uncomfortable. Once it starts to not be a good time, I'm gettin' ghost. I'm not signing up for anything and not expecting him to sign up for anything either. It's all fun and games. Hopefully he's on the same page. LOL!! That seems to be the recurring issue with me and my male interactions. It's just fun and games to me so that when I'm ready to be out, I be out. But they seem to think it's more... I don't know.
Like I said, we're getting to know each other right now. Yes, he makes me laugh and smile and the thought of him makes me smile BUT I'm still me and will act accordingly. Yeah, that's kind of an unapologetic attitude to have but I gots ta do what I gots ta do. One day I'll change. I guess.
Anywhoo, gotta run. Group meeting in 10 minutes. I'd rather SLEEP or at least catch up on work for my other 2 classes but hey, it is what it is.
I'll try to update more but I don't foresee that happening for the next 3 weeks. LOL. I sure miss dland when I'm away though...