"If I had my way, life would be just fine."
Monday, Sept. 01, 2008 - 11:16 p.m.
I RELUCTANTLY sealed the deal with Jorge.
Yes, I did.
*sigh*
My whole reluctancy about it was that I know how I am once I do the do with somebody. It tends to end up where I'm like, "Okay, it's done. What was your name again?"
Knowing that I'ma have to spend 11 days next month with the boy made me very apprehensive to participate in what I knew was imminent. I didn't want there to be any uncomfort or awkwardness while we're supposed to be enjoying ourselves on the trip of a lifetime.
It's just funny how people have plans and intentions that you can be totally unaware of. Totally. I mean, I never expected for him to behave the way he did from before I arrived even until now.
I'm kinda confused but not really. I mean, I like him. Like I've always said, he has MANY of the qualities I'm "looking" for (even though I ain't actually looking). He is so ambitious, respectful, hard-working, intelligent, interesting, personable, cute... But at the same time, something is missing for me. Yes, even moreso than the fact that he lives in NY.
It's just so frustrating to have something in your face and you have to say, "No, thank you. Not what I'm looking for." Especially when there's a mf'n drought out in these streets! Ugh!
I just hope he doesn't get offended when I don't keep in contact with him. It's just not in me. I have so much other shit to worry about, I keep convincing myself.
And for now, that makes me happy.
So Jorge, it was fun. But it happened and it's over. Let's just act like nothing went down and keep it moving, k? Thanks.